Galatea
by SN1987A - Ritzen
Summary: Ai gives Conan something to think about.
1. Antibodies

_originally posted on December 30, 2004 and completed on October 1, 2005_

* * *

**CH 1 - Antibodies**

-x-

Haibara stared.

The rats were dead. All of them were dead.

"My God, what have I done?" Haibara Ai asked in a whisper and opened the cage.

That wasn't supposed to happen. Among the rats that were given the APTX-4869, most had died while a few had returned to their infancy. Those that were killed by APTX-4869 weren't too surprising - Haibara had expected that to happen. But for those that had returned to their infancy, Haibara had then given them the antidote to APTX-4869. They should've transformed back to their adult forms. Yet now, they were all dead.

When the results of the blood tests came in, Haibara shuddered. Once again, nothing out of the ordinary stood out from the test results for the rats killed by APTX-4869. For the few that took the antidote, however, Haibara discovered that there were virtually no white blood cells in the blood samples. No white blood cells, no antibodies; no antibodies, decreased efficiency in the immunity. Thus, the rats that took the antidote died from the germs they carried on their bodies.

Gripping the pieces of paper printed with the test results, Haibara sank into her chair and shut her eyes. Her jaws tightened. It was four o'clock in the morning and she had rushed into the lab in the basement of Doctor Agasa's house to test the antidote she thought she had found. She hadn't even bothered to change out of her pajamas. However, the outcome greeting her wasn't the success of finding the antidote for APTX-4869, but the shock from creating another killer drug.

Haibara picked up the test tube containing the small amount of green-powdered drug she had created and stared at it. Under the illumination of the dim light in the lab, the powder seemed to glow like the glow-in-the-dark stickers. The antidote was in the green powder; the powder was the extreme form of the antidote.

On this thought, Haibara calmed down a little. She closed her eyes again and let her thoughts wander.

It was a week ago when she began making the antidote.

Doctor Agasa had caught the flu going around town. Besides the only time that she could flop down on the sofa to rest for a couple minutes, Haibara was rushing back and forth, getting tissues, medicine, water, and all kinds of things needed to take care of and amuse a ridiculous flu patient.

By ridiculous, Haibara meant the things Doctor Agasa had said when he was sick and in bed:

"Don't you like the tissue box mountain I've made, Ai-kun?"

"I am Rudolf, the red-nose reindeer. Ouch, my nose hurts... I think I've blown it too much."

"Ai-kun! Bring me some dihydrogen monoxide! Cough!"

To all these, Haibara never responded. In fact, she was surprised that they even made an impression in her memory.

Because Haibara couldn't spend time in the lab during the time Doctor Agasa was ill, she had learned to conduct thought experiments on finding the antidote while going in and out of Doctor Agasa's room. It helped. It was like when a person had been thinking too much or too hard, a random string of words could cause something to click in the person's mind and solve whatever the person had been thinking about.

That day, Conan had come over with a new box of medicine. Haibara was pouring a cup of water for Doctor Agasa when Doctor Agasa complained about the failure the medicine was in curing his flu. Conan replied that the medicine only relieved the symptoms and that it was up to one's antibodies to kill the viruses.

"Something must be killing my antibodies then, if I'm recovering so slowly," Doctor Agasa responded.

When Haibara heard this, she paused and placed the bottle and the cup of water onto the table beside Doctor Agasa's bed. Then she rushed out of the room and to the lab, leaving Doctor Agasa and Conan, who had been explaining about the impact that old age had on the production speed of antibodies, puzzled.

That was it. APTX-4869 caused the cells to self-destruct, or, if lucky, to degenerate, as with Haibara Ai and Edogawa Conan. Paikaru, the Chinese liquor, contained the ingredients to reverse the effects of APTX-4869, but the human body produced antibodies against the toxin from Paikaru, rendering the reverse effect temporary. If she could make a counter agent that destroyed the antibodies before the antibodies neutralized the toxicity of Paikaru, the transformation of the cells back to the adult form should become permanent.

It made sense to Haibara. It was probably not the best way to find an antidote for APTX-4869, but it might work.

Yet it didn't. The effects of the counter agent went overboard - the green powder Haibara had made destroyed all white blood cells instead of the antibodies specific to the antigens from Paikaru.

Haibara poured the green powder into a red-and-white capsule and examined it. The few grams of powder were all that she was going to make, ever. People killed by APTX-4869, although the poison remained undetectable in the blood samples, would still be known to the police as murdered victims. Whereas for this green powder, the doctors, let alone the police, and even the relatives and family members, would dismiss the death as a result of severe illness. In other words, a natural death that couldn't be helped.

Nonetheless, Haibara knew she was very close to finding the antidote. All she had to do was to extract the green powder to make the substance that she needed for the antidote and then discard the rest of the drug in a way that no one could find or use for unspeakable purposes. And to play it safe, she wouldn't say anything about this creation, not even to Conan.

The chemist bit her lips, unlocked a drawer, and pulled out a small, rectangular container. There were two and a half pills of APTX-4869 in it; the missing half piece had been used in recent chemical tests. After placing the red-and-white capsule into the container, Haibara reached for a marker. Just in case someone found this container and thought the pills were medicine or candy. But Haibara never thought that once she labeled the capsule, the name would become official. With a name, there came the need for people to use it.

Haibara wrote down the first word that came to her mind, and in truth, she didn't know why she used that name to identify the capsule filled with the green powder.

-x-

(TBC)


	2. Bridge

**CH 2 - Bridge**

-x-

It'd been three days since the creation of the green-powdered drug.

In order to minimize the risk of someone stupid discovering the red-and-white capsule, Haibara had left her job of taking care of Doctor Agasa to Conan while she locked herself in the lab to work without interruption. Not only was she afraid of a stupid someone, but Haibara also noticed a decrease in the amount of green powder everyday she came back from school. Her conjecture was that the powder sublimed.

A scary thought, for it could be possible that someone would inhale some of the gas and have the same sticky end as those few rats. Especially Doctor Agasa, who had been sick. But at least he had been in bed and immobile for the past few days.

As she picked up the test tube containing what she believed to be the antidote for APTX-4869, Haibara sighed in relief. Finally. Though, there were still the tests she needed to conduct on the new lab rats she'd purchased to ensure the success of the antidote - a blackish-blue powder.

After Haibara fed a tiny dose of the antidote to the two baby rats that had survived APTX-4869, she decided that she should go to her room for the rest she desperately needed. She felt like someone who'd been walking lost in a forest for ages before finding a hotel. Yawning, she climbed up the stairs from the basement.

At the top of the staircase, Conan stood with his hands in his pockets and looked at Haibara, who looked back up at him with another yawn when she saw him.

"Kudo-kun."

"You look awful," Conan said and let his gaze follow Haibara as she walked past him.

"Gee, thanks for the compliment," Haibara said and headed for her room, uninterested in whatever Conan wanted to talk to her about. She just wanted to sleep.

"So," Conan started, "how's the research going?"

The chemist rested her hand on the doorknob and groaned inwardly. She wished she never had to tell anyone, especially not Conan, about the new progress she'd made with the antidote. Now that he had a chance to confront her alone, he asked about the progress. Predictable.

Yet, Haibara hadn't had much choice. Even if she had kept silent like what she'd done for the green-powdered drug, Conan would've guessed about the antidote when she'd suddenly shut herself in the lab to work almost endlessly. So she chose to inform both Conan and Doctor Agasa that she was close to finding the antidote. To save trouble. But now...

Rubbing her eyes and pushing the door open, Haibara answered, "It's far from done, Kudo-kun, and most likely, it won't work. There's a difference between theory and practice, so don't get your hopes up. Now if you'd excuse me, I need some shuteye."

"Haibara," Conan called out.

There was something about the way he called her name. It was as if he was about to announce a death sentence. The strawberry blond chemist stopped the door from closing and stared at Conan, who was facing the door sideways. As much as she wanted to collapse onto her bed and sleep, she could tell, now, that Conan had come to see her for reasons more than just inquiring about the antidote.

"You said you knew the identity of the boss of the Black Organization, didn't you?" Conan asked, still not looking into Haibara's eyes.

Haibara became tight-lipped and her hand squeezed the doorknob, twisting it a little. She replied, "Yes, but I also advised you to give up. I further warned you of that email address - "

"Pandora's box, I know. So instead, why don't you just tell me who the boss is? This way, we can avoid using that email address and still bust the Organization."

Narrowing her eyes, Haibara said, "No. You already know enough about the Organization for them to want to dismember you. You shouldn't know more."

"Well, if that's the case - "

The tired chemist closed the door and shuffled to her bed. Instead of an inward groan, this time, as she flopped onto her bed, she let out an audible one when she heard Conan say "A-about the antidote..."

"Haibara, listen. Sonoko is trying to set Ran on a blind date, or something like it, and I need to stop her. Please, Haibara, if we don't have the antidote, how about the temporary one? We know it works..."

_Boys_, Haibara thought as she buried her head under her pillow to block out the great high-school detective's cry for help, _Their intelligence become zero when it concerns the girls they like_. Couldn't he remember the reason as to why she had forbidden him from taking a second dose of the temporary antidote? _Guess again_, Haibara told herself when the yells outside the door seemed to want to go on for another eternity.

Haibara loosened her grip on the pillow and shouted, "If you really loved her, you'd trust her; if she really loved you, she wouldn't dump you just because... you disappeared for so long."

The other side of the door fell quiet and Haibara opened her eyes, looking at her room through the slit between the pillow and the bed. She wasn't sure if Conan had heard the last part of her sentence, because her voice had decreased to a whisper. It was her fault for creating APTX-4869, and it was her fault for separating the two lovebirds. Part of her praised the statement she just made to Conan, and part of her regretted it.

If Ran was just some hot chick that Conan liked, Haibara would've given up on searching for an antidote and told him to let go. But no, she couldn't. Ever since Ran saved her from Vermouth, she'd come to see Ran as her sister. She didn't want Ran to get hurt but, instead, to be happy, and she wanted him to be happy, too.

Bringing her blanket closer and tighter around her, Haibara moved her head out from under the pillow and shut her eyes, trying to sleep. But she couldn't help thinking about the green-powdered drug. It seemed like a good idea to swallow the capsule and let the people denounce the death as a natural one. That way, Conan wouldn't have anything to say.

He'd told her that he'd protect her. He'd told her that she shouldn't run away from her fate. He'd saved her, at least once, from killing herself, and he'd probably do it again if need be. Why would he do all these for someone who'd made him miserable in the first place? Haibara knew it wasn't simply because she knew about the Black Organization. To use people to his own advantage, which might also be a selfish notion, and then discard them wasn't Conan's character.

A grim smile appeared on Haibara's face. Conan had asked her almost the same question before, wondering why Haibara didn't take the temporary antidote she made but gave it to him, why she was helping him and neglecting herself. She had replied that she wouldn't take the antidote until it was fully tested and completely safe. Was it a truthful answer?

Haibara recalled a Chinese legend. The goddess Vega had fallen in love with an earthling Altair, and they were happy together until Vega's father discovered their marriage. The father then dragged Vega all the way back to the sky, separating the two with the Milky Way. Only on July 7 each year were they allowed to meet each other on a bridge across the Milky Way, otherwise, they could only gaze at each other from far away. It was just a legend, no doubt, that the Chinese created to romanticize the two stars in the sky.

She wasn't afraid that the antidote would kill her or afraid that Gin or whoever else from the Organization would come after her as long as the people around her remained safe. She just didn't want to transform back into an adult. The only way she knew she could keep out of the relationship between Ran and Shinichi was by maintaining her child form... if the antidote succeeded. Not that she would confess anything to anyone under any circumstance. It would just be painful.

If there never was a bridge across the Milky Way for Vega and Altair to meet annually, they would still feel pain, but less, for temptation liked to mess with people's head. They'd face reality and wouldn't look forward to a meeting that lasted so short. They'd probably forget each other and move on. There was nothing to dwell on, no hope to dwell on.

She'd make the antidote, and she'd make sure it worked. After that, it would be bringing down the Black Organization, bringing it down with her, once and for all. Conan wouldn't stop her - he wouldn't be able to.

-x-

(TBC)


	3. Good Samaritan

**CH 3 - Good Samaritan**

-x-

Doctor Agasa recovered from his illness, relieving Conan from a burden that he very much wanted to complain about unless Haibara repaid him in some way or another. And he knew just how the chemist could do so.

During the next two weeks, everyone - from Doctor Agasa to the Detective Boys to the teachers at school - noticed the increasing attentiveness of Haibara Ai. Before that, she looked tired and yawned all the time.

People agreed that she became more... approachable during that time. She spent more time outdoors with the Detective Boys, spoke more about topics that were not depressing or dark. Sometimes she even cracked jokes, though they were full of sarcasm that only Conan understood. In general, she just seemed more carefree and... dare anyone say... happy?

Even so, Conan couldn't bring himself to ask about the antidote. He did try, however, to read Haibara's mind, from the gestures and facial expressions the chemist made, to imagine the progress of the research.

And while he was at it, he couldn't help but notice Haibara's frequent actions of digging her hand into her coat pocket and clenching something as if she was making sure something very dear to her had not disappeared.

Along with that observation, Conan added the increase in the number of times the strawberry blond girl looked at him. Sure, his mother had suggested the impossible as an explanation, but Conan figured it was something else this time, unless, of course, there was something on his face. Which was another story.

At the end of the second week, after bidding goodbye to Ayumi, Genta, and Mitsuhiko, Conan said while walking alongside Haibara, slightly pouting, "I'm ready. You needn't be so sneaky about it, you know."

"Sneaky?" Haibara repeated and looked at Conan, who replied her blank look with a smirk that announced that he had everything figured out.

Lowering her eyes to gaze at the path in front of her, Haibara kept silent, thinking; Conan raised his eyebrows upon finding the old reserved Haibara again.

"Come with me to hakase's house," Haibara muttered before increasing her pace.

Conan paused. There was sadness in Haibara's eyes.

-x-

Right after they stepped into the house, the chemist led the detective to the lab. She didn't bother to take off her grey coat. Unlocking the drawer, Haibara took out a small plastic bag and held it before Conan. In the bag, there was a black capsule. Conan stared intently at it. One could only imagine what flowed through the thoughts of the detective trapped in a child's body and how much he yearned for the antidote.

"In here contains the antidote for APTX-4869," Haibara said, opened the bag, and fished out the black capsule. She nodded toward a cage and continued, "As you can see, the antidote has been successful so far with an effective time period of at least two weeks. Moreover, there lies a high probability that it'll be permanent. However, I don't know if it's ready for human consumption or not - you could still die from taking it."

"At least two weeks..." Conan whispered in awe, never once taking his eyes off the black capsule. "You're a genius..."

Haibara showed no emotional response, not even a smirk to the acknowledgement. Before the speechless detective could reach for the capsule to ensure the realness of the antidote, Haibara turned and placed the antidote on the table while her hand covered it, pressing down firmly.

"Listen to me," the strawberry blond chemist said while Conan kept his eyes fixed, now, on the chemist's hand. Haibara's voice was now low, and her tone sounded like a speaker warning another about the explosiveness of a box being handed over. "Kudo Shinichi's death is recorded in the database of the Organization. If you decide to take this antidote and it turns out to be a successful one, you could put yourself in a greater danger than the one you're currently in. This is different from the past few times you've managed to transform back - you'll no longer be able to cover up your existence and plausible involvements in solving cases, save that you give up on investigating crimes, which, I presume, you'd die before doing so."

Conan fixed his gaze on Haibara, who shifted her position to face Conan and continued to speak.

"Think carefully. Edogawa Conan is not yet considered as a threat to the Organization, but Kudo Shinichi was, and he probably is, due to the several incidents of your 'revival.' People around you might be in more danger if the Organization comes to seek Kudo Shinichi. Then, of course, the antidote may not work at all, and you may die.

"You can choose to ignore the potential dangers, believe that you are more capable of protecting everyone as Kudo Shinichi, and return to your girlfriend at the Detective Agency, or you can choose to destroy the Organization as Edogawa Conan before returning to be Kudo Shinichi.

"Either way, the risks are immense," Haibara lifted her hand off the black capsule and held it out for Conan to take. "It is entirely your decision, Kudo-kun, for the antidote is yours to keep - discard it, swallow it, now, later - it is your life. I have neither power nor authority over it." Haibara then added with a smirk before dropping the black capsule onto Conan's palm, "You could still turn back, quit, and forget about tracking down the Organization altogether."

As he caught the capsule, Conan asked, "How many did you make?"

Widening the smirk, Haibara posed a question with the answer twinkling in her eyes, "What do you think?"

A kind of astonishment and fear accompanying the incomprehension of the other's inner thoughts replaced Conan's initial joy of obtaining the antidote. He asked as the chemist turned to leave the lab, "What about yourself? Aren't you going to make more?"

"No. I have my own plans."

"What plans?"

"Worry about yourself," Haibara replied without stopping her climbing of the stairs but with the same coldness as the girl who had just escaped from the Black Organization, before she knew about the concept of friends.

Yes, Haibara could just imagine Conan shrugging off her cold attitude and dialing the phone number to the Mouri Detective Agency. But there was no bitterness or anger in her thoughts. Sadness, maybe. And happiness. That was all. She knew what she wanted, and she knew what he wanted. It was just typical Conan she was thinking of, typical people she was thinking of.

Reaching into her coat pocket, Haibara clenched another capsule in her hand and halted at the top of the staircase.

"What are you stopping for?"

Not expecting his presence, Haibara looked up, with an expression mixed between disbelief and curiosity, at Conan, who walked up from behind her.

"I... I was thinking of what grocery to buy," Haibara responded and headed toward the main door, knowing that it was a lame excuse, though the fridge was almost empty. So it wasn't too big of a lie.

"Grocery? I've known people, like Socrates, who stopped and stood in the middle of the road all of the sudden to ponder about philosophical questions, but to do the same for grocery items?" Conan commented with a grin as Haibara opened the door. "Want me to come with you?"

"You always underestimate me," Haibara said before slamming the door shut.

Conan made a face that explained his belief that "Haibara is a person who cannot be helped" and called out, "Hakase! Haibara and I are going to the grocery store!" Then he rushed out the door to chase after the chemist without waiting for Doctor Agasa to offer them a ride to the store.

-x-

They walked side-by-side without saying anything - Haibara not wanting to speak, and Conan not wanting to force Haibara to speak.

_She didn't have the antidote by her side_, Conan thought, _Then what does she have in her pocket?_ He glanced at Haibara's pocket and saw Haibara's hand still in the pocket. He'd guessed wrong. No wonder she gave him a weird look when he talked about her sneakiness earlier on. But he had to consciously suppress all the habits he had when he was in deep thought to prevent Haibara from noticing anything. Although he'd never been able to figure out the strawberry blond completely, she'd seen through him and his actions more than once.

"Don't you want to turn back into who you really are?" Conan placed his hands behind his head and asked as they approached the store.

"I can't," Haibara said after a pause to collect her answer. "The Organization would know immediately, and nobody - the two of us, hakase, the three of them, your parents, your friends from Osaka, her and her parents, and maybe even more - none of us would live to see the next sunrise. Can't you understand?"

God, she was always so ambiguous with the pronouns she used. What was wrong with addressing people with their names? Conan could only wonder.

"But..."

"Conan-kun!"

The small detective spun around upon hearing his name and saw Ran waving and running toward him. He looked around for Haibara, but the strawberry blond had already entered the store. Why was he not surprised.

"What are you doing here?" Ran asked as she came up to Conan. There was the smile she always had when she talked to little kids.

"I-I'm here to buy some things for hakase. With Haibara," the detective added and pointed to the store.

"Oh. Then I guess I shouldn't be keeping you out here," Ran said when she saw Haibara looking at them through the glass window of the store before disappearing behind the counter. "But before you go, remember to take care of yourself, Conan-kun, since you've been spending so much time at hakase's. The flu is still going around, and tell Ai-chan to take care of herself as well..."

Looking out the glass window from behind a pillar, Haibara saw the smiling faces of Conan and Ran. She tried to tell herself that she had been wrong before about Conan and that she could be wrong again this time by trying to read his mind. But when she felt the capsule melting under the temperature of her hand, she leaned her back against the pillar and looked at the ceiling. No matter how much the storekeeper spent to repaint the walls and the ceiling, they would still get dirty, with the smudges of grayish black scattered all over.

Emotions would not get the better of her. She was a rational human who maintained her coolness and calmness. She knew reasoning. There was a faint smile on her face; she closed her eyes as she popped the red-and-white capsule into her mouth. Would he stop her before it was swallowed? Would he know? Regardless, it would only be for the best. He'd understand.

Outside, Conan said goodbye to Ran and raced for the store. Something was wrong.

"Haibara!" Conan called out when he burst into the store, only to find the strawberry blond chemist standing beside the pillar with a grocery basket in her hands and staring at him with a bored expression. She almost looked like a flower girl, if she was in a prettier outfit with the non-decorative grocery basket replaced and uh, if her eyes weren't so unkind and not-so-innocent and... Why didn't he just dismiss the thought? "You're... alright."

The chemist raised an eyebrow. "Perhaps you were expecting this basket here to imprison and engulf me in flames?" she asked and swung the basket into mid-air.

"No! I just..." Conan stammered, trying to find an explanation but concluding with a "nothing."

Even with "nothing" as an answer, Haibara knew. She knew that Conan felt something. If only he'd come sooner... Yes, if only...

If only?

Throughout the shopping, Conan realized that Haibara no longer touched the pocket of her grey coat. At first he'd thought that she didn't have the hand because of holding the grocery basket, but even after he'd offered to help her carry the basket, she kept her hands busy filling up the basket with food and other items. For a moment there, Conan thought Haibara wanted to overload the basket to torture him. Oh yes, a punishment for making her wait while he talked to Ran. He hoped Haibara had enough money, which she did.

"Here, I'll take all the grocery," Conan offered again and tried to grab the bags that Haibara was holding when they walked out the store.

"What is up with you?" Haibara asked as she hid the bags behind her back and backed away in circles to prevent Conan from taking them. "Trying to be a Samaritan? I'm not a weakling!"

_What is up with you? Trying to stock up for the next century?_ Conan yelled mentally.

In the end, the chemist won, and they both each carried half the load of what Haibara had bought.

"You've been acting weird," Conan said, breaking the silence that had accompanied them through most of the way back to Doctor Agasa's house.

"So have you," Haibara responded and pushed open the door of the house.

Obviously, she wasn't making the connection that he was acting weird because she was acting weird and that he was trying to find out why she was acting that way. Or so Conan thought.

When Haibara was putting the groceries away, Conan sneaked out of the kitchen and located Haibara's coat. But he found nothing inside the pockets of the grey coat when he dug his hands into them. Either there was nothing there in the first place, or the chemist had done something to it in the store.

"The store..." Conan muttered to himself and walked slowly to the kitchen. He knew he had felt something. A hunch, like some of those he'd had before, even though those concerned Ran. He had to find out what Haibara had been hiding from him and where the object was at present. Though, it was not like he'd meet any success with matters like this.

"I thought you were being a Samaritan today," Haibara said as Conan reappeared in the kitchen and as she put away the last box of tissue.

The great detective could only fake a laugh of embarrassment in response. Maybe he was worrying too much.

-x-

Haibara rubbed her throat as she stepped out of the shower that evening. It felt swollen and painful. Wiping away the condensation on the mirror with her hand, she looked into her own blue eyes in the reflection. Her face was a little flushed and she cleared her throat. She looked down at the sink and at the water running from the faucet, ready to brush her teeth, but she stopped. With every passing minute, she could feel the headache growing. Shutting her eyes, she heard the continuous heartbeats in her ears. She had no idea what the exact calculations were, so she wondered, wondered when the all-familiar thumping inside her would cease and how it would feel like. A bitter smile appeared on her face and she whispered, "So it has begun."

-x-

(TBC)


	4. Conviction

**CH 4 - Conviction**

-x-

Haibara knew that it was better for her to go to bed and rest instead of spending much of the night working in the lab. However, she doubted how much she'd be able to sleep even if she lay in bed. The fever and sore throat would be enough to make a nightmare come to life, and the next thing she'd know, she'd be tossing and turning in bed while feeling sorry for herself. But it wasn't like things were going well in the lab either.

After half an hour of spreading random pieces of paper on the table and staring at them, the chemist chucked the pen in her hand onto the table and buried her head in her hands. Damn the headache! Coughing, Haibara had to remind herself that it was she herself who got her into this ill condition. She wanted to cry. What was it that she was planning to do in the lab? Oh yes, something about APTX-4869.

Resting her forehead on the cold table surface to relieve the heat and keeping her eyes shut, the chemist extended her hand to the floor near the table leg to reach for her backpack. She found the key to the drawer, and after pulling the drawer open, she fumbled for the rectangular container. She wanted to do something with the half piece of APTX-4869, but she couldn't remember what. Sighing, the chemist shut the drawer and lifted her head off the table. Her hands reached for her temples to massage them while she forgot about the half piece of APTX-4869, which dropped into the mass of paper.

Great, the coughing fits were now causing her stomach to go topsy-turvy. All of the sudden, Haibara felt as if she'd been spinning around for five minutes. Moving her hands down to cover her nose and mouth, Haibara could feel a surge of substance rushing up from her stomach. Not good. The chemist kicked the chair away and ran out of the lab, up the stairs, and into the bathroom.

The door slammed against the wall with a loud bang and whizzed shut behind her as she entered the bathroom and threw up in the toilet bowl. So much for having dinner - it did no good in providing her with the nutrients and energy she needed. Haibara slipped onto the floor and sat there in the dark, resting her head on her arms on the toilet seat. Her mind was no longer registering the sour smell from the spew that could often cause a second regurgitation. Sweat covered her forehead, and the aching in her body was slightly relieved. Maybe it was just because she was semi-conscious. She didn't know. She only wished she wasn't sick.

Doctor Agasa opened the door and switched on the light. "Ai-kun, are you alright?" he asked, rubbing his eyes. Once he saw Haibara curled up on the floor and noticed the sour smell, he cried out "Ai-kun!" and dashed forward to carry the moaning Haibara to the bed out in the living room. "I have to get you to the hospital," Doctor Agasa said as he hurried to the living room and prepared to wrap the strawberry blond girl in blankets before they left the house, but he stopped when he heard the rain pounding against the windows. "Oh great," he muttered, placed Haibara on the bed, and pulled the blankets over her.

There was no way he'd be able to transport Haibara to the hospital without risking her getting even more ill. Although he hated to disturb Doctor Araide in the middle of the night, Doctor Araide was the only doctor-friend he knew who'd be able to and willing to treat Haibara. So after grabbing a big pot from the closet and setting it beside the bed, Doctor Agasa scurried to the phone.

-x-

A breeze blew several brown leaves past Conan, who made a turn onto the street where his house and Doctor Agasa's house were located. "Ai-chan is very sick, I think. That's why she's not at school today," Ayumi's words echoed in his head. There was something more to it than just "catching a cold," Conan concluded. Except it'd been a difficult task to convince Ayumi, Genta, and Mitsuhiko from coming along with him to pay Haibara a visit. He approached Doctor Agasa's house when a car zipped past him.

"Eh? That was Doctor Araide's car," Conan muttered to himself as he looked back to get another glimpse of the car before it turned onto the other street. "Why is he so late? And leaving in such a hurry?" Narrowing his eyes, the small detective increased his pace, arrived, climbed up the stairs and knocked on Doctor Agasa's door.

"Shinichi-kun!" Doctor Agasa opened the door and greeted with an air mixed between relief and worry. "I was thinking of calling you."

"Ayumi-chan told me everything. How is she?" Conan asked and glanced at the living room while he took off his shoes and put on the slippers. "Why did Doctor Araide come so late?"

"Oh. Well, you see," Doctor Agasa began explaining as he and Conan walked toward Haibara's bed, "Ai-kun became really sick in the middle of the night, and I called Doctor Araide to come. He said that Ai-kun must have caught the flu and that there might also be some infection in her stomach. He also advised Ai-kun to go to the hospital, but Ai-kun refused, saying that it'd be useless. So Doctor Araide left some medicine, though he also drew some blood from Ai-kun for further testing. That's why he was here just now - to tell me the results."

Seeing as to how Doctor Agasa stopped speaking and the worried expression intensifying, Conan asked with a frown, "And then?"

Doctor Agasa lowered his voice and said, "Doctor Araide told me that Ai-kun's white blood cell count is rather low. Well, lower than what he'd expected. He isn't sure if it's the low amount of white blood cells that's causing the disease, or if it's the other way around. He drew some more blood from Ai-kun this time he came, and hopefully, he'd be able to determine what's causing the low count."

Conan deepened his frown and looked at Haibara while Doctor Agasa dampened the towel before placing it back on Haibara's forehead. He dug his hands into the pockets of his pants and asked, "Has she taken her medicine?"

"Yes, but she didn't want to. She fell asleep not long ago. I think she's a little bit better now after taking the medicine. At least she hasn't thrown up since this morning, even though her temperature hasn't dropped much. Maybe she had worked too hard to get you the antidote... too exhausted."

"Yeah... Hopefully, that's why," Conan said in a whisper. Many thoughts raced through his mind in regard to Haibara's sudden illness but couldn't settle on a single idea. _And not __because of others_, he added in his mind.

"Speaking of the antidote, Shinichi-kun," Doctor Agasa bent down and whispered to Conan. "When are you going to take it? Wouldn't it be better for you and Ran-kun if you returned earlier?"

Shaking his head, Conan said, "Haibara's right. We shouldn't rush, but I did call Ran to tell her that I'm coming back soon. At least we won't have to worry about potential irreversibility of APTX-4869 anymore." After a pause, he added in a soft voice, "Besides, only Edogawa Conan can stop this girl here from doing anything stupid."

"Huh?"

"Nothing," Conan said immediately with a smile. "Well, hakase, take care of her. I'll come back tomorrow."

While Doctor Agasa saw Conan to the door, Haibara opened her eyes partly to take a quick glance at the leaving detective and closed her eyes along with the shutting door. _What are you still waiting for, Kudo-kun?_

That night, Doctor Agasa called Conan, who had to scramble up from his bed to answer his cellphone. After the call, Conan couldn't sleep anymore. He remained awake for the rest of the night, waiting impatiently for dawn to arrive in order to leave the Detective Agency to get to Doctor Agasa's house. Among the disarrayed thoughts in his brain, one image kept returning, and that would be Haibara's hand clenching something in her coat pocket. What was in that pocket?

-x-

Standing by Haibara's bed with his arms crossed, Conan asked with intentions similar to those of interrogating a criminal and softness due to the concern and anxiety for the patient, "What's going on? What did you do to make yourself so sick?"

Haibara had woken up in the morning when Conan came over, but she looked paler than ever, even though the fever continued to paint her cheeks with faint pink.

After a few coughs, Haibara answered in a coarse voice while she looked at the inquiring detective, "If I could control viruses or bacteria, I'd win the Nobel Prize for Medicine. People don't make themselves sick on purpose unless they desire attention and enjoy pitying themselves."

"Then how do you explain the amount of white blood cells in your bloodstream decreasing... s-so fast?" Conan asked, referring to the phone call Doctor Agasa had given him during the night but refraining from using the word "exponentially." "Doctor Araide said that there was an abnormal substance in your bloodstream killing your body self-defense against the viruses, but he couldn't determine what."

"You and I can't command our hearts to beat. How would I know if a doctor doesn't?"

"Then answer me, Haibara, what was in your coat pocket?" Conan asked with small pauses in between and brought his face closer to Haibara's face for intimidation purposes.

"Nothing," Haibara responded without a break in her calmness. She was expecting that question. Closing her eyes and bringing the blanket tighter around her neck, she said, "I'm tired. Leave me alone."

This was tougher than he'd expected.

"Argh!" Conan cried out, pulling away, and ruffled his hair. _Nothing?_ He couldn't take it anymore. Here he was, worrying himself sick about the reserved and helpless chemist while she was letting her life slip away. He wasn't going to try to pretend to be a job-only detective anymore. He cared! "You're dying, Haibara, don't you know? Once your white blood cells are depleted, there won't be much left in your immune system to help you recover!"

Of course she knew. It was her plan.

The chemist opened her eyes and looked at Conan. He looked as if he was going to pull his hair out and cry. Whether it was out of frustration or fretfulness, she didn't know. The sorrow in his eyes was similar to those she'd seen before when he condemned himself for keeping Ran waiting and upset. He was blaming himself again for things out of his control. He knew... then why?

"Galatea," Haibara gave in and whispered. _It's not your fault, Kudo-kun. It was only my stupidity._

Conan stared at Haibara, unable to comprehend the appearance of such a word. Galatea of mythology. Galatea of astronomy. What was Galatea here?

"Galatea... It's the failed antidote for APTX-4869," Haibara murmured and coughed. Then she explained the properties that had rendered the drug a failure to serve as the antidote - the failure, which was the green-powdered drug, which was contained in the red-and-white capsule that she had swallowed that day at the grocery store.

Conan's eyes widened and he gaped at the chemist, the insane chemist. "Why? Why did you do it if you knew the effects?" he asked in a whisper, no longer concealing any fear he'd had for Haibara's health.

The strawberry blond squeezed out a weak smirk that appeared more to be a grimace. "I'm facing my fate," she replied.

Letting his hands drop to his side and bowing his head low in defeat, Conan asked after a moment of silence, "How can I save you?"

"There is no way."

"No, there isn't, if you have no will to live on," Conan said and shook his head with a harsh smile. He looked into Haibara's eyes and asked, "Have you lost everything that you'd live for?"

"The reason I live for is the reason I now die for," Haibara responded, taking short breaths, tired from talking for so long.

"Well, then is the reason you now die for not the reason to live for?"

"It's different. Besides, we're all going to die someday. Might as well face it now. Furthermore, with my death, the threat of the Organization should decrease, since the main objective of the Organization, as far as it concerns us, is to kill the traitor - me. It's better this way."

"No, it's not," Conan raised his voice as he was bordering on losing his temper. "You're making a worthless and stupid sacrifice! And a needless one, too! Name the improvements in our lives without you."

The strawberry blond opened her mouth to speak, but Conan didn't let her.

"No, you can't. By no means will your death make our lives any safer. Haibara, you're no longer who you were. You have friends, and we all care about you. What will Ayumi-chan, Genta, and Mitsuhiko do if you die? True, with you around and the Black Organization just a step behind us, they may be in physical danger, but we can protect them. There's the FBI and the police force, and we have friends in both. But if you die, the three of them will be devastated, emotionally hurt, and there's no way we can prevent or heal that wound. They may be annoying at times, but Haibara, you know better."

Haibara couldn't speak. What would the three of them do if she was gone? Her death would be even worse than accepting the offer Jodie provided her to partake in the Witness Protection Program. Guilt finally broke through the shield she'd set up to justify her action of taking Galatea.

Noticing the change in Haibara's facial expression from emotionless to regret, Conan asked again, "How can I save you?"

"There is no way," Haibara said as she squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head, as if trying to fight off the urge to cry. "There is no way."

Conan looked at the floor with sadness as he knew that Haibara really didn't know a way to prevent her death. "I see," he sighed. Taking a deep breath, he turned to walk away and said, "I'll call Doctor Araide to see if there's any medicine that'll aid your immune system. Are you sure there isn't a way? Any way? I'd do anything. _Anything_."

The chemist thought hard while Conan shuffled to the phone. The detective felt like a prisoner walking up to a guillotine. As he picked up the phone, he heard Haibara's mutter.

"What did you say?" Conan dropped the receiver and rushed to the bedside with his fingers crossed. His heart beat fast, nervous about what Haibara had to say. Had she figured out how to save herself?

"Apotoxin-4869..." Haibara muttered with her eyes shut and a frown - the information on the drug was streaming through her mind like a computer program scanning through millions of files. "It might work."

"Work on what?" Conan demanded. He never liked the mention of the drug that shrunk him.

"Reverse the effects of Galatea."

Shocked, Conan took a step back and swallowed. "You're mad..." he said. "Wasn't Galatea supposed to counter APTX-4869? But failed? Haibara, I thought you wanted to live, not die!"

"Listen, Kudo-kun," the chemist opened her eyes and breathed harder. "APTX-4869 works by killing the cells, and there's a chance that it would destroy the substance wiping out the white blood cells instead of damaging the benign ones, if given the right dosage, perhaps. My hypothesis could be wrong, no doubt, but I can think of nothing else."

"No! I'm not letting you take that accursed thing again! It destroys cells, not substances!"

Haibara forced out a weak smile and reasoned, "I will die if we do nothing. I might die if we give APTX-4869 a chance. Between these two actions, the worst outcome of the latter is at least as good as the best of the first and in at least one state of the world, the outcome of the latter is strictly better than that of the first. In other words, the latter action super dominates the first, thus we should perform the latter. There is no other way out. 'The best weapon against an enemy is another enemy.'"

Conan's eyes were still wide with disbelief while he digested what the chemist had said.

Haibara continued in a barely audible voice, "I understand your fear, but believe me... I wish I hadn't taken Galatea. Also, the least we get Doctor Araide involved, the better."

Turning away to let his back face Haibara, Conan remained silent for several minutes to calm his mind before letting out a sigh and saying, "Alright, I trust your decision. Where is it?"

"In a container in the same drawer I kept the antidote. The key is in my backpack."

Conan nodded, took a step forward, and turned to look at Haibara. There was a trace of gloomy playfulness and seriousness in his eyes as he said, "Haibara, 'to forget one's purpose is the commonest form of stupidity.' We all love you, and we all care for you. Promise that you'll recover."

"I don't do promises, Kudo-kun, but I'll try my best," the strawberry blond chemist said with a hint of annoyance that the detective got back at her with the quotation business. Ah, but this is Haibara we're talking about. She added as Conan headed to the lab, "By the way, 'stupidity has a knack of getting its way.'"

Conan couldn't help but smile at the response he got from Haibara. At least she still had enough energy to joke around and... make fun of him. Though, he vowed that he'd find a quote someday to win the fight. Before he descended the stairs into the lab, he took another look at Haibara, who had fixed her gaze at the leaves being blown past the window outside. _She'll be fine_, Conan reassured himself. But meanwhile, he had to get... yeah, that.

The detective hurried down the stairs and flung open the door of the lab. The basement was in a mess with papers scattered all over the place. To his surprise, the drawer was not locked. But all the better. Aside sheets of paper, numerous floppy and compact disks, Conan found a small, rectangular container. Biting his lips, he opened it but stood astounded. There was nothing in the container, except for the row of labels of the drug names—four APTX-4869's and one Galatea.

"W-where?" Conan blinked his eyes and asked, beginning to feel tense and uneasy. Leaving the container open, he started sweeping papers and pens and the other items in the drawer and on the table aside to find an APTX-4869 pill. "Haibara, I can't find any..." he said through his teeth and tossed things onto the floor until he heard a sound similar to a bead landing on a marble floor. He looked down and saw a blue half piece of a tablet on the floor. As he picked it up, he saw the numbers "4869" labeled on it. He found it. Well, half of it. That would be enough. He hoped.

For the first time, nothing felt more relieving than to hold that half piece of APTX-4869. Conan raced up the stairs and to Haibara's bedside. Helping Haibara up and sitting beside her to support her, Conan handed the half piece of ATPX-4869 to her and used his free left hand to pour Haibara a glass of water.

Haibara examined the blue piece of tablet in her hand, wondering why Conan chose to pick the half piece instead of a whole. She closed her eyes to listen and feel the thumping of her heart one more time before an addition of another piece of APTX-4869 into her body system. She brought the half tablet to her mouth but stopped and looked at it and at Conan, who was holding the glass of water and looking back at her with hesitation.

The chemist knew very well that she could still die even with the theoretically improved survival likelihood. And she wanted no more regrets.

_You still don't know anything_, Haibara thought as she looked into Conan's eyes and brought her face closer to Conan's face. _Nor do I want you to know, Kudo-kun. Only..._ She placed a small kiss on the detective's lips and put the half tablet into her mouth. She had to take the glass out of Conan's hand to drink the water, for Conan was left stunned.

-x-

(TBC)


	5. Grapes at the Funeral

**CH 5 - Grapes at the Funeral**

-x-

Wringing the towel dry and placing it on the sleeping figure's forehead, Doctor Agasa creased his eyebrows with concern as he studied Haibara's flushed face. Her fever was worsening. Unable to decide what would be the best for Haibara, Doctor Agasa looked toward the other end of the bed where Conan, staring at the floor, stood with his hands in his pockets.

"Shinichi-kun," Doctor Agasa said. "Wouldn't it be better if we took Ai-kun to the hospital? Her condition seems to be worse than how it was earlier."

Conan didn't respond, and Doctor Agasa's sigh followed. _He's been in deep thought ever since I came to check on Ai-kun_, Doctor Agasa noted as he recalled the expression on Conan's face when he'd entered the room. There'd been commiseration, tenderness, incomprehension, and regret in Conan's eyes, and there still were, making Doctor Agasa wonder what had happened between the detective and the chemist during the time he was in the kitchen. Maybe he should've stayed.

"Shinichi-kun?" Doctor Agasa called out again with a louder voice.

Startled, Conan's gaze darted around, from the floor to the window to Doctor Agasa's slippers but never fixing on anyone's face, and he said, "Ah, yes. I mean, no. Sh-she'll be fine. It's just..." He finally lifted his head to look at the unconscious chemist while his voice trailed off.

"Just what?"

Shaking his head, Conan answered, "Nothing. You don't have to worry about it, hakase."

Well, at least Conan hoped that neither of them had to worry about it. The rising temperature of Haibara's body should've resulted from the bone-melting heat that APTX-4869 caused, although this time, Haibara had slipped into the state of unconsciousness without going through the heart-splitting pain Conan remembered.

As Conan grabbed his jacket and flung it over his shoulder while walking to the door to put on his shoes, Doctor Agasa raised his eyebrows and asked, "Are you leaving, Shinichi-kun? Wouldn't you rather stay for lunch? I've already prepared food for you."

"No, it's alright," Conan replied as he opened the door. "I told Ran I'd be back by noon."

A lie, but nobody needed to know about it. Unbeknownst to Doctor Agasa, Conan, for once, wanted to get away from a problem he was facing. To be exact, he wanted some fresh air to clear his mind so that he could think. Remaining at a place where he could catch glimpses of Haibara's face wasn't going to help. No longer did he know how to face the strawberry blond.

Before shutting the door, Conan added, "Call me when she wakes up."

"No problem," Doctor Agasa said as the door clicked shut. Still puzzled by Conan's behavior, Doctor Agasa glanced at Haibara's reddish cheeks, torn between the decision of sending her to the hospital and the choice of leaving her alone. After repeating the actions of taking a step or two toward the phone and then retreating to his initial position afraid that Haibara would be upset about being warded in a hospital, he was saved by the phone's ringing. "Hello?" Doctor Agasa picked up the receiver and greeted.

-x-

A cool breeze penetrated Conan's sweater and he shivered. Nevertheless, he didn't put on his jacket but, instead, held it over his shoulder as if it was his backpack. The smell of the falling leaves in autumn filled the air as Conan walked down the streets. A few children ran past him, chasing after a ball. Their laughter blended into the sound that the cars driving-by made.

Conan paused midway and examined the path in front of him. How many times had he walked down the same road when he was Kudo Shinichi, and how many times when he was Edogawa Conan? So many of these were with Mouri Ran, and some with Haibara Ai.

He remembered the times when he'd be bragging about his deduction skills with an inflated ego while Ran complained that he had too many fangirls. Then there were times shared with Haibara when they discussed about the Black Organization. They were so different - Ran and Haibara. The times were so different.

All this time, Haibara was a friend, and Ran was his crush. It was what he was working for - to turn back into Kudo Shinichi. And he had all that it was needed to return to his identity. He had the antidote.

Conan moved his hand, bringing the jacket in front of him, and searched for the antidote in the pockets of the jacket. Holding the black capsule in his palm, Conan wondered if it was necessary for Haibara to go through everything she was experiencing. She exhausted herself due to the endless hours of research and experimentation to produce something for someone totally unrelated to her, for someone that if...

_"Idiot! Girls only look at boys in such a way, with the exception of something stuck on your face, when they like you!"_

His mother's words, along with the recollection of Haibara's small but soft and warm kiss, which made him blush slightly, led to Conan's realization that maybe Haibara was doing all that she was because she liked him. As much as it seemed ridiculous when he first learned of this idea and it seemed true presently, he wasn't sure. Haibara had been working so hard to bring him back to Ran.

Returning the black capsule back to its original place, Conan continued his walk to the Detective Agency. He couldn't understand why Haibara chose to conduct such an act before taking APTX-4869. Knowing her, she should've kept her emotions within her just like what she'd always done. Not that he preferred her indifferent mask. It was just weird.

Then suppose her illness got the better of her and governed her mind with irrationality. One of the possibilities would be that she'd never even know the incident took place, which would save a lot of trouble. But if her intention was to let him know how she felt, and she remembered, how should he response?

Haibara was unlike any other girls who'd expressed likings toward him. She was someone he'd promised to protect and someone who'd protected him. So they weren't totally unrelated. They understood each other's situation and could talk to each other about it, instead of suppressing everything about the Black Organization completely and running the risk of either becoming insane in consequence of the pressure or being killed.

This sort of intimacy had led to confused jealousy: Mitsuhiko and Ayumi had wondered about the relationship between Conan and Haibara but were reassured, by Conan and by Haibara respectively, that it was just friendship.

Yup, they were just friends, Conan concluded. And Haibara was probably just kidding. She liked to do those kind of things - joking around to scare people. He wasn't going to fall for any of those anymore.

Arriving at the Detective Agency, Conan took a deep breath, feeling very triumph that he "solved" the mystery regarding Haibara's kiss, and climbed up the stairs leading to the door of the Agency.

"I'm back," Conan announced as he opened the door and stepped inside.

"Oh, welcome back, Conan-kun." Ran looked up from the letter she was reading to Kogoro, who, as usual, was watching the videotaped version of Yoko's performance, and asked, "How's Ai-chan?"

"She's fine."

"I'm glad to hear that," Ran smiled and resumed reading the letter for her father. "'Please, I look forward to your aid, Detective Mouri. Sincerely, Cathy Choi.' Wow," Ran gasped as she read the postscript. "She's willing to pay one billion yen!"

"Ooh!" Kogoro jumped up, beaming, and grabbed the piece of paper from Ran to reread it. "It's from a beautiful and rich young lady!"

"Beautiful and young?" Ran muttered with annoyance. "Don't you think you're using a little too many adjectives? Besides, how would you know? Maybe she's just some old grandma."

"Old grannies," Kogoro yelled and waved the piece of paper in front of his daughter's face only to lose it when his daughter snatched it out of his hand, "don't use perfumes this special!"

Bringing the crumbled piece of paper to her nose, Ran remarked while placing the letter on the table after being bombarded by the smell she'd thought came from elsewhere, "Grapes? Do such perfumes exist?"

Curious, Conan picked up the letter and glanced through the text. He had to admit, the smell was strong when the paper was brought close enough to the nostrils, otherwise, it seemed to come from a distant basket of grapes. It was as if someone had spilled grape juice over the piece of paper. The short letter was typed with a lack of details of the case involved - murder of the client's brother. One billion yen was a lot for solving a seemingly simple case as depicted in the letter. These rich people...

Conan threw the piece of paper onto the table as Ran told him to get ready if he wanted to go with them to meet Cathy. It wouldn't be such a bad idea, Conan decided, since he did want to do something to get his mind off thinking about Haibara. Going to a case was much better than his initial plan of playing video games for the rest of the afternoon.

Cathy didn't live too far away. They arrived after ten minutes of driving, and Conan noticed the two police cars parked in front of the building. So the police was here already. A reverse of the usual sequence, but he wasn't surprised since the letter stated that the client's brother was dead.

Kogoro, Ran, and Conan took an elevator to the sixth floor of the building and found the apartment Cathy lived in. A couple minutes after Kogoro rang the doorbell, the door opened and Takagi's face peered out.

"Ah, it's you guys!" Takagi cried out in surprise.

"Inspector Takagi!" Kogoro and Ran exclaimed with widened eyes.

Kogoro asked, "Do you live here?"

"Oh, no," Takagi said and moved aside while holding the door to allow the trio to enter the apartment. "Miss Choi called us here again in regards to her brother's death."

"Again?" Ran asked and blinked her eyes while observing the room.

Aside the few police officers that she recognized, there were some other people dressed in black talking amongst themselves. Relatives of Cathy, she presumed.

Things were different for Conan, however. At the sight of the black clothes, the images of Gin and Vodka floated in front of his eyes. He shook his head, ruffled his hair, and reminded himself, _These people are mourning. I should stop becoming so paranoid._

"What exactly is going on here?" Kogoro added to the question Ran had just posed and looked around.

Besides the crowd of people, the living room stood relatively empty. Once one ascended the stairs, located to the left of the entrance, leading into the living room from the small, square corridor of the entrance, one faced the only window in the living room. It was a large window, similar to the glass doors opening to a balcony. But there was no balcony for this particular room of the apartment. In the left half of the living room, there was a plum-colored leather sofa set - composed of a main L-shaped sofa and an armchair. A large china vase of about a meter decorated with white and blue patterns filled the gap of the "n" made between the L-shaped sofa and the armchair. To complete the set, a maroon tea table stood in the empty space between the legs of the "n." Opposite of the sofa was a refreshment table, temporarily set up for the guests in the apartment. If one turned right immediately after stepping into the living room, one would enter a narrow hallway that led to the other parts of the apartment. Overall, including the wooden floor and the ordinary ceiling light, the room wasn't impressive.

"Most of the people here are relatives of Miss Choi," Takagi explained and pointed to a young lady arguing with Chief Inspector Megure near the window. "And that is Miss Choi. They've just returned from the funeral for the deceased."

_That Miss Choi has great taste for her outfit_, Conan noted with raised eyebrows and weariness.

Although she wore black, she reminded Conan of women from the Enlightenment era. At least her big, puffy skirt portion of the dress did. And her hat as well, which she had tucked her hair under. They were all... antique-styled. These were all that Conan could distinguish from the distance and the side-view of Cathy.

Takagi continued, "When her brother died five days ago, she called the police and demanded that an autopsy be conducted; she didn't believe us when we told her that her brother wasn't killed. But even the results of the autopsy indicated that it wasn't homicide. Now, after the funeral, she still insists that it was murder."

"And I wouldn't be surprised if it was murder, now that I see you here," Chief Inspector Megure said as he walked across the room toward the famous "sleeping Kogoro," followed by Cathy, who maintained a small, sad smile on her face.

"Detective Mouri," Cathy greeted and took off her hat, letting her hair fall lose to an appreciable amount past her shoulder.

Her voice was calm and low, as if she sang too much when she caught a cold. Furthermore, she had a foreign accent. From her name, Conan could tell she wasn't Japanese, but instead of the accent he was anticipating, Cathy had a French accent. She'd curled her hair and dyed it blond, which quite took away her beauty. A portion of her hair had been clipped to the back of her head, but after the intervention of tucking the hair into the hat, it was all messy. Her large, light brown eyes twinkled and inspected Conan with interest before looking at Kogoro again. A pair of huge, silver hoop-shaped earrings dangled from her ear lobes. There was the same grape juice smell from her as from the letter she'd sent.

_Twenty years old?_ Conan estimated.

"Really," Chief Inspector Megure addressed Kogoro with frustration. "You should stay home from now on. Besides, this case is closed."

Laughing nervously, Kogoro said, "It can't be helped. I'm a detective. So then, Inspector, did you think it was suicide?"

"No!" Cathy shouted. "It's murder!"

Conan thought, _I don't even know the details of this case..._

"It's natural death, Miss Choi!" Inspector Megure yelled. "How many times do I have to tell you? Your brother died of the flu!"

"What!" Kogoro and Ran cried out with extraordinary astonishment. _Just how much stranger is this going to get?_ Conan mentally commented, also surprised but felt partly insulted as well.

"Who do you think I am?" Kogoro yelled into Cathy's face. "A microbiologist?"

"Listen!" Cathy raised her hands, hat in her right hand, to stop the detective and the inspector from further shouting. "My brother was recovering from the flu when we ran out of medicine, but after he began taking the new box of medicine we bought, he became more ill! How can the pills not be the source of his death? Don't you find it strange?"

"But Miss Choi," Takagi said, unintentionally provoking Cathy. "We found nothing abnormal with the sample medicine pills we ran tests on. Even your colleagues verified the results."

"I may not know how exactly the medicine could've poisoned my brother, but because I am a doctor, I know he couldn't have died from an ordinary flu! Taking into account the amount of people who die from influenza each year!"

_She's got quite a temper_, Conan observed. But he began to regard the conversation exchange before him with interest. They seemed to be arguing over the literary interpretation of a novel instead of the cause of a person's death, even though it would be more interesting and challenging to focus on determining the cause of the death of Cathy's brother. Conan left the piling crowd, still disputing, at the staircase to walk around the room in search of clues, though he doubted he'd be able to find anything worthwhile.

"I tell you," Cathy's voice grew louder and louder. "It was his white blood cell count that wasn't right!"

_What?_ Conan spun around and stared at Cathy wide-eyed. It wasn't a simple case after all. _Haibara..._

"Hey!" Conan shouted and ran toward Cathy. "Do you still have any of those medicine samples?"

"Uh, yeah," Cathy fell quiet, alarmed by Conan's sudden shout, and extended her hand to where a handbag would normally be but discovered that she didn't have her bag with her. "Excuse me," Cathy said with a sheepish grin and hurried down the hallway.

Kogoro punched Conan's head and hollered, "Are you going to say this is murder again?"

Glaring at Kogoro, Conan pulled out his cellphone and decided to ignore Kogoro for once. There was a call he needed to make.

_Ah!_ Conan thought in alarm. _I forgot to turn on my phone! Dammit!_

As he dialed the number to Doctor Agasa's house after turning on the phone, Cathy returned with a small white bottle and handed it to him.

_Pick up, pick up!_ Conan thought frantically as he thanked Cathy while Ran looked at him in amazement.

"Conan-kun." Ran bent down and asked, "Who are you calling?"

Squeezing out a smile, Conan stammered before running out the door, "U-um, Ran-neechan, I have to leave now. I told hakase I'd go back around this time."

"Hey, wait!" Ran called out. "Conan-kun! We're leaving soon, so come back and we'll send you there! It's still a decent amount of walking distance from here to hakase's house!"

But the little detective had already entered the elevator.

Hanging up the failed phone call, Conan opened the small bottle in his hand and peered inside. The pills looked like normal medicine, compared to the somewhat odd-looking capsules Haibara made. Nevertheless, Haibara would have to explain the pills in the bottle he held in his hand.

The elevator reached the first floor and Conan recapped the bottle. He rushed out while dialing the number to Doctor Agasa's cellphone. To his dismay, the phone line was busy.

"Argh," Conan growled and dialed to the house again.

As he waited and hoped for someone to pick up the phone, something that Haibara had once said a long time ago re-emerged in his mind. Along with it was an image of Haibara hiding behind him, clinging onto his sleeve, putting faith and trust into him... to gain trust. She said, _"I don't want you to call me a murderer anymore."_

_Well then, Haibara, if the medicine I have in my hand is what I think it is, how would you explain yourself?_ Conan thought with bitterness and a deep frown, racing down the streets and becoming more worried with every passing minute without the phone being picked up. _Where did they go? Hakase?_

-x-

The door was locked. Through the windows, Conan could see an empty bed. Deciding to try Doctor Agasa's cellphone one more time, he was interrupted by a car pulling up at the gate and a calling of his name.

"Conan-kun," Ran called out from the car window and opened the door, motioning Conan to get in the car. "Agasa-hakase called, saying that he brought Ai-chan to the hospital. He tried to contact you, but couldn't. You're worried about Ai-chan, aren't you?"

Surprised by the news, Conan remained at the same spot without moving for a second before running to and jumping into the dark blue Mercedes, which belonged to Cathy. He didn't pay attention to the conversation between Ran and Cathy, however, although he managed to grasp the reason Cathy was sending them to the hospital. Not long after he'd run out of the apartment, Doctor Agasa called Ran, and when Cathy learned of it, she volunteered to give Ran a ride to the hospital since she was about to return to work anyway; Kogoro had wanted to return to the Agency instead.

Conan thought hard on the way. He still hadn't understood the reasons for Haibara's actions earlier during the day. Heck, he'd probably never understand anything that the strawberry blond did. He wanted to believe that Haibara never planned to have the drugs she developed to be used as weapons to kill, but he decided that it would be better to arrive at a conclusion after talking to the chemist. If the Black Organization were involved without Haibara's knowledge, the situation would be very different from the one rising as consequence of Haibara's own decisions.

Speaking of which, what did Cathy Choi have to do with any of this? Looking up from the seat, Conan inspected Cathy's face, but she looked innocent and unknowing of the happenings around her. Then Conan caught glimpse of the key chain of Cathy's car key in the ignition. It was a long, golden, decorative key, similar looking to treasure box keys, spinning around along its axis like a paper star hanging from a string and dangling in the wind.

_Of course_, Conan thought as he sat up straight, keeping his eyes on the key chain. Knowing he wanted to be a present-day Sherlock Holmes, Haibara decided to give him an ultimate mystery to solve. All along, there'd been one door, but the path to that door was distorted into a labyrinth. Without the key, even if he made it through the maze, he still wouldn't be able to open the door. So he never bothered to try hard enough. However, he now held the key. He was already in the middle of the maze; there would be no turning back. Haibara liked him. No, probably more than that.

-x-

(TBC)


	6. From Grey to Blue

**CH 6 - From Grey to Blue**

-x-

Quietness. The world, or at least the surrounding environment, was quiet except for the occasional sound of a passing vehicle.

Haibara fluttered her eyes open and focused them on the ceiling above her in the dark. Aside from the dizziness, the sore eyes, and the slightly sore throat, she felt none of the other pains that had plagued her some time ago she last remembered being awake.

Wait. Where was she? Hadn't she died yet?

Before she could make out the details of the room that was unlike that of Doctor Agasa's house, Haibara fixed her eyes on a small figure sleeping in the chair next to the bed. Conan. If anything in the ordinary world could fascinate the detached chemist, it would definitely be the pleasant position the small detective was sleeping in.

With his right arm dangling over the armrest and his mouth hanging open, his head was in danger of applying a torque to his body pass the support point. Consequently, it would either make him topple over with the chair or break his neck. Either way, it'd be quite amusing to watch, if he didn't wake up soon enough. His other hand rested on his laps, and his legs were stretched out in front of the chair. Slumped in the chair in such a position, he looked dead.

Whether it was because of Haibara's stare or just the uncomfortable position he was in, Conan stirred, sitting up straight, stretching, massaging his neck and scratching his head while he opened his eyes to check on Haibara. They remained silent, staring at each other.

Putting down his hands and bringing his legs closer to the chair, Conan asked with a hint of incredulity, "I'm hallucinating, aren't I?"

"Yeah."

After a blink and a smile, Conan said, "Glad to have you back. You've been sleeping for two days."

There was silence. There was the stare.

Transferring her gaze to the ceiling, Haibara sighed and mumbled, mostly to herself but also expecting some sort of explanation, "I failed."

With a loving, sympathetic look, similar to those given by adults awing cute and innocent actions that children conducted, Conan said in a soft tone, "I guess so. However, APTX-4869 did seem to have bought you some time. Doctor Araide had planned for you the rare white blood cell transfusion, but when he re-tested your blood, he said you only needed an immunoglobin transfusion to temporarily boost your immune capability. It appeared that your white blood cells were reproducing at a normal rate for a flu patient; it was just that your flu had worsened."

After a pause, Haibara looked at Conan again and muttered, "I see."

Still as apathetic as ever, thought Conan, resting his elbow on the armrest and supporting his head with his hand.

"How did I come to being in the hospital?" Haibara asked.

"Oh, hakase brought you here," Conan replied and leaned back into his chair, placing his hands on his laps. "He told me that when he was debating over what he should do with you - to send you to the hospital or to keep you at home - Doctor Araide called saying he knew how to help you recover. And so..."

He was followed by another awkward period of silence along with their observations of each other's gestures and facial expressions, if any. Both were waiting, calculating, without anything really going on in their heads.

"Uh, Haibara. I, um, I want to ask you something..." Receiving no response from Haibara, Conan continued, interpreting the indifference as a sign to go on, "Since APTX-4869 didn't kill you and didn't seem to have done anything else special, why didn't you shrink some more?"

This time, he did get a response - Haibara glared - an accusation demanding an explanation for such a treacherous thought that desired the further shrinkage of the chemist.

Grinning with silliness to sue for peace, Conan waved his hands to signal his surrender and said, "Hey, no harm done! I was just curious."

"I don't know," Haibara answered and turned to face the other wall in order to get some sleep and not more random, relatively insulting questions regarding her personal well-being... even if he had good intentions.

Her body's null response to another dosage of APTX-4869 - void without taking into account the aid the drug provided to combat influenza viruses - chilled Haibara's thoughts. There came a need for a new theory as to how APTX-4869 worked. Simply by chance that she and Conan swallowed the two pills that did what the drug was theoretically supposed to do - reintroduce youth to the body once more - could be possible and was what she'd thought for so long. But to survive twice in a row from taking the unsuccessful prototype that did a job deviating from her hypothesis created turbulence in her mind.

"Uh..." Conan started, causing Haibara to half turn around with annoyance waiting for him to speak. "Do you remember..." Conan struggled with the words while tapping his index fingers together and looking away with his heart pounding and face burning. "What happened before...you took APTX-4869?"

Haibara straightened her face, closed her eyes, and responded firmly, "No." Opening her eyes, she caught a glimpse of a half-disappointed and half-relieved Conan before she asked with a smirk, "Why? Did you embarrass yourself? Care to share?"

It was as if a chemist's hobby was to torment a detective in all plausible ways.

"No!" Conan yelled, glaring with a red face. _This wretch! I bet she remembers!_ "Forget I asked!"

Smirking, glad that the deed had been done, Haibara faced the other side of the room and thought with her eyes shut, _The last day of Pompeii cannot happen all over again._

Speaking, or rather, thinking of which...

Haibara turned around half way once again to face Conan and asked, "Hey, when will I be discharged?"

"Soon, I suppose. How are you feeling?"

"Fantastic. Tell hakase I'd like to leave the hospital by noon tomorrow. Or is it today already?"

"Noon today!" Conan exclaimed. "That's not what I meant by 'soon'!"

Instead of arguing, as what Conan had expected, Haibara gave Conan a meaningful look. There were yearnings for understanding and feelings of trepidation in her eyes.

Taking in a deep breath and letting it out slowly, Conan agreed. "Okay, I'll try. Go to sleep now - you look tired. Don't worry, I'll be here."

Haibara hesitated for a second, but knowing Conan, she nodded and pulled the cover tighter around her to sleep.

_I guess it'd be better to ask her later when she's better_, Conan thought, shutting his eyes as well for some snooze.

An hour or so later, Conan woke up, wanting to go to the bathroom. Making sure Haibara was in deep sleep, he told Haibara where he was going, even though he felt stupid talking to someone asleep, but he didn't want her to freak out should she suddenly wake up. Just in case.

When he came out of the bathroom down the hallway in the hospital, he heard a female voice coming from around the corner.

"Yes, everything is going according to plan, Boss." It was a familiar low, coarse, and foreign-accented voice. "Don't worry. My father will transfer the money to your account tomorrow... Ah, Gin... huh, he'll have to wait. I have a personal matter to settle with Sherry first..."

_What? Haibara!_ Stunned, Conan glanced down the hallway to where the door of Haibara's room was located. It wasn't close enough for him to reach without being perceived as peculiar.

Oh no, she's coming! Conan jerked his head toward the turn at the corner upon hearing the clapping-shut of the phone and the tapping of the footsteps. He backed into the door and slid into the bathroom, knowing that a confrontation must happen in order to protect Haibara and to keep him off the suspect list.

Taking a deep breath, he reopened the door to walk out, prepared, but accidentally bumping into the person, who was dressed in a doctor's coat. Okay, not exactly what he'd meant by "confrontation," but sure, why not? The more natural he appeared before the enemies, the more he would decrease their awareness.

Time to play.

The detective-turned-actor looked up with a childish apologetic grin and said, followed by a faked sudden recognition of the person in front of him, "I'm sorry! Ah, Cathy-neechan!"

"Why, hello there!" Cathy squatted and smiled. "Aren't you the little kid with the Mouris? Conan, is it? What are you doing here so late? Visiting hours have long passed - it's almost two in the morning. Shouldn't you have gone home with Ran-chan?"

"But Cathy-neechan, you haven't gone home either."

Cathy laughed at the "naiveté" of the child before her and patted his head. "Cathy-neechan is a doctor, who is on duty right now and cannot leave."

"Then I am on duty, too! I am the box-ghost! Fear me if you are square!" Conan spread out his arms, whirled around, pretending there was a cape flapping behind his back, and zoomed off, narrowing his eyes as he went along.

Man, he hated this body and the kind of tactic he was forced to use in his status. The more he thought about it, the more he wanted to change back to his true self and to have the ability to actually kick the faces of the bad guys like how he'd kick soccer balls. And Genta had been making him watch too many cartoons. The box-ghost? Why didn't he pick someone like the Batman, who in fact had a cape and was more... heroic? Well, sort of.

Behind him, Cathy laughed harder but tried to stop herself, reminding herself that she was at a hospital, and watched as Conan disappeared into a patient's room. Standing up, she took a step toward the other direction while keeping her eyes fixed on the position she last saw Conan as a smile - one signaling victory - crept up her face.

_No wonder Vermouth is so protective of you. Unfortunately, the opening act is ending. I'm afraid I like that cute little head of yours just a little too much, tantei-san..._

Down the hallway inside Haibara's room, Conan breathed heavily as he backed away from the door with caution, activating his stun-gun wristwatch and power-assisted kick-shoes.

_Damn, I was too distracted these few days. I never expected that this would be Cathy Choi's part in the game. What now?_ Conan asked himself, heart pounding at a fast rate, sat down in the chair, and glanced at Haibara before fixing his narrowed eyes on the door. _Why haven't they killed us yet? How similar in motive is Cathy Choi to Vermouth? What grudge does she have against Haibara?_

After what seemed to be an eternity of quietude, Conan let out a breath and focused his attention on Haibara, whom the events happening nearby hadn't seemed to disturb at all. _I really don't understand this girl. Someone, probably right outside the door, is after her life, yet she sleeps like a dead pig. Weird_, Conan thought as he inspected the sleeping face of the strawberry blond and smiled. _I've never seen her sleep with such a peaceful expression before. So adorable. Why can't she be just as sweet when she's awake?_

-x-

Conan and Haibara managed to convince Doctor Agasa, Doctor Araide, and the nurses that Haibara was ready to be released from the hospital. Even Haibara was a little surprised by Conan's eagerness to get her out of the hospital.

That afternoon, Haibara received a lot of visitors. Surrounding her at the bed were the Detective Boys while Ran was preparing snacks in the kitchen.

"Ai-chan, how are you feeling?" Ayumi asked, right after they'd stepped into the living room.

"I'm much better," Haibara replied with a smile. "Thank you."

"It's all Conan-kun's fault," Genta blurted out.

"Eh? What did I do?"

"That's right." Mitsuhiko nodded in agreement with Genta. "If we had visited Haibara-san sooner and learned that she was so ill, we could've sent her to the hospital earlier. Conan-kun usually doesn't make the wisest decisions."

"Oh, so that's how it was," the strawberry blond said and cast a mocking look with raised eyebrows toward the fuming detective.

"I'm glad you're feeling better now," Conan gritted through his teeth and glared at Haibara.

"How are you, Ai-chan?" Ran asked as she set the tray of fruits, cookies, and a bowl of porridge on the table next to Haibara's bed.

Did everyone have to ask her the same question? She. Was. Fine.

The appearance of food made one of the Detective Boys drool, while the one in question responded to Ran with a small smile.

Mitsuhiko frowned at the gobbling Genta. "Don't just eat, Genta-kun. We came here also to help Haibara-san catch up with the schoolwork."

It was lucky that Haibara hadn't picked up the bowl of porridge yet, or she would've dropped it. Seven-year-olds were here to tutor her. Wonderful. But life... yeah.

"See," Mitsuhiko, one who'd always imitated adults and spoke with a bizarre speech pattern, said as he took out homework booklets from his backpack and handed them to Haibara. "I brought you everything that you'd need."

To avoid suspicion from Ran, Conan pointed to himself and asked, "Hey, what about me?"

Mitsuhiko looked at Conan with annoyance and said, "You're not sick and shouldn't have missed school just to take care of Haibara-san anyway."

The verbal exchange among the seven-year-olds caused Ran to giggle at the cuteness she saw in them and she soon joined in their teasing of each other. The chit-chattering in the living room also drew Doctor Agasa into the crowd, making Haibara's day quite full of excitement. Though, the strawberry blond chemist, as she ate the porridge, was pretending to listen to Mitsuhiko's "lessons" and to participate in the fun. Her attention was on Ran interacting with the kids in front of her.

After another hour, everyone but Conan left. Even so, he had had a hard time convincing them to leave.

"Phew, finally," Conan murmured and placed his hands behind his head, looking at the door.

Haibara reached for a cup of hot water on the small table and glanced out the window. _Yes, we mustn't involve them any further. But I don't understand. Why didn't he..._

"Kudo-kun," she called for the detective's attention and looked at him as he turned around.

"Do you feel it, too? The situation is becoming complicated, isn't it?"

Sipping the water, Haibara answered, off-topic but absorbed in her own thoughts, "She looks lonely."

"Lonely? Who? You mean Ran?"

"Didn't you notice?"

"Really?" Conan tapped his chin and thought hard to recall Ran's behavior. "Now that you speak of it... But she should understand. I've only been taking care of you. It's not like Conan disappeared, too. Or maybe you should just stop doing stupid things that - "

"If you keep pursuing, you might truly vanish. What would she do then?"

"Don't worry. We already have the antidote, don't we? If you'd cooperate - "

"It's not that simple. Go back, Kudo-kun. Neither of us knows how much we've walked into the trap they've set up. Even with the FBI as an ally, it might be the false sense of security that they want us to have. Take the chance, while you still have it, to not hurt her anymore." Haibara stared into the cup of water she was holding, hoping to see her face but failed.

Observing Haibara, Conan remarked, "You're weird."

"Excuse me," Haibara said with a glare, straightened her back, and lowered the cup to the blanket covering her legs. "I'm afraid I'm not the odd one out - everything is strange to you."

"No, seriously. A few days ago, you warned me about taking the antidote, but now, I think you want me to take it. Will there be a day that you tell me not to give up on the quest of wiping out the Organization?"

"You have to break the chains wrapping around your arms and legs now before they are too tight and ultimately drag you to hell. The Organization should have nothing to do with you. Stop stirring trouble."

"Haibara," Conan said in a low voice after a silence between them. "Do you know someone named Cathy Choi?"

"No. Who's she?" Haibara asked with a blank face but barely interested.

"Oh." Conan faked a laugh after a quick inspection of Haibara's face. "Someone at a case a few days ago. She... reminded me of you, that's all."

_So then..._

He was about to speak again when Haibara sunk into another one of her deep thoughts. Distraction, guilt, and sadness in Haibara's eyes made Conan wonder what she was thinking of.

_That lonely expression_, Haibara thought as she placed the cup on the table and returned to staring at the blanket, _should be on my face instead. Not hers. Why?_

"Why haven't you taken the antidote yet?" Haibara asked. "You've always been eager about it. Why do you continue to keep her waiting? Surely, the dangers I've analyzed - "

" - were the initial reasons," Conan interrupted and completed the chemist's statement. "That's true. But not entirely. There're some things I cannot do as Kudo Shinichi, and I haven't done them yet."

"And there're things you cannot do as Edogawa Conan. You've made promises to both sides, but nothing stays on the event horizon forever. They'll spiral in; lost and disintegrated. Kudo-kun, turn back before you step into a zone where eleven o'clock never reaches the one you love." Haibara continued in a whisper, "Don't be a fool."

"What's wrong with you? What did Ran do to make you so paranoid? She's been the focus of your thought ever since..." Conan realized the cause of Haibara's oddity and blushed. "Hey, hey! I'm not... because of that... you... I wouldn't... I mean..."

The strawberry blond scoffed. "Of course you wouldn't. I misunderstood you. That's all. I'm not a helpless patient," she said as question marks appeared on Conan's face. "You don't have to stay here any longer."

_Indeed, how could I be so foolish? He wouldn't march straight to the guillotine, to the mist trapped on the blade of the guillotine. The peace has lasted too long._

"Well," Conan said as he shifted from foot to foot. "If you want me to leave... But before that, can I ask you one last question?"

_No, don't!_

"What is this?" Conan demanded as he tossed a medicine bottle to Haibara, who picked it up in astonishment.

"This... Isn't this a bottle of medicine that treats influenza?"

"Ordinary flu medicine? Why don't you take a look at the contents inside and see if you recognize them?"

"What's the meaning of this?" Haibara changed her tone as well and crossed her arms, staring at the detective.

"Galatea..." Conan said with a frown. "Someone's been distributing it, I fear." He continued after witnessing a shocked expression from the chemist. "I want to know how much of this scheme you're involved in."

Pressing her hand against her forehead, Haibara squeezed her eyes shut as she recalled the past: sublimation... half-piece... _How could I be so stupid!_ she screamed at herself, jumped out of bed, and rushed to the basement. As she fumbled through everything in the lab in search of the APTX-4869 pills she hadn't used yet, the dread in her grew, and the nervousness caused her to sweat.

Nothing. There was nothing.

_You idiot! You've killed us all!_

With her fears confirmed, Haibara stood by the desk, supporting herself with an arm on the desk and the other hand on her forehead. Stepping down from the stairs, Conan stood by the door and held it open to prevent it from shutting, wondering.

-x-

(TBC)


	7. Elixir for Long Life

**CH 7 - Elixir for Long Life**

-x-

Haibara sank to the floor while her head leaned against her arm pressing against the edge of the desk. The thought that she had led them to their ultimate demise overwhelmed her. Because of the emotions, the jealousy, and the rash thinking, she fell ill and hence created a crack for the enemy to squeeze through.

It was similar to a leak in a dam, and now, it was too late to repair the damage, to save the lives along the river below the dam. Tiny drips of water could generate such immense pressure that the dam would blast open. Then it wouldn't be drips of water, streams of water, but walls of water carrying unthinkable amounts of energy.

As much as Conan didn't want to believe that Haibara could be guilty of producing Galatea, she was just too suspicious. Almost everything that she'd done so far was to hinder him from uprooting the Organization. True, she had provided a lot of information on the Organization to a degree that she could claim she knew no more, but her reluctance to give the name of the boss, her disapproval of his decisions, and worse, the distraction she was causing at a time like this were too suspicious.

He'd had to deal with cases where people he knew or even worshipped were criminals. It was not impossible that everything was an act to catch him off guard, even though it did seem like an awful lot of work for the Organization to go through just to silence one Kudo Shinichi.

Yet, the idea bugged him. Wouldn't it be more distracting if she "admitted" that she liked him? Or maybe it wasn't her thing. And the fact that he was brought to suspect the possibility of such a betrayal plan didn't make sense. Wouldn't they want him to be clueless? Perhaps it was reverse psychology.

_What exactly are you planning?_

Haibara coughed and Conan sighed.

He walked over to Haibara and took her arm to help her off the floor. "Let's get you upstairs where it's warm. People are most vulnerable during convalescence."

Standing up, the chemist glanced toward the cage sitting on a table in the corner of the room and frowned. She pulled her arm out of Conan's grasp, walked to the corner, hooked her fingers on the wire netting of the cage, and stared into it. "Where are the rats?" she asked.

Alerted, Conan stepped forward and peered into the cage while registering the oddness of the chemist's behavior. One glance of the empty cage was enough for the detective; he spent more time inspecting Haibara, who had a dazzled and frightened expression.

"Maybe hakase freed them," he suggested, glimpsing at the dried grass in the cage one more time, and took Haibara's hand to pull her away from the cage.

Her hand was cold. Conan turned around and brushed her bangs to the side to test her forehead temperature with his forehead. The chemist had a low fever, and it seemed to be causing the delay in her reactions for she gazed at him in an odd way, as if she wasn't sure what he was doing.

"When did you last take your medicine?" he asked and pulled away.

Applying pressure to her forehead with the back of her hand and shutting her eyes to relieve the growing headache, Haibara replied, "Noon, I think."

Conan checked his watch and gritted his teeth, not too happy with the time calculation. "It's about time, I guess. You shouldn't have run down here without putting on some more clothes."

He led her upstairs, where he grabbed his jacket, which was closest to him, and draped it over Haibara's shoulders. As Haibara shuffled to her bed, Conan headed to the kitchen to fill a glass with warm water for Haibara to take some medicine.

Leaning against her pillow and slumping to find a comfortable position where she could relax but not fall over, Haibara tugged the collar of the jacket and wrapped it tighter around her shoulders. _Lost. We've lost._ Haibara closed her eyes at the grave thought. _It's all because of me. What to do?_

When Conan returned with the water and the medicine pill, he peered into Haibara's pale face. She looked like she was asleep.

"Hey, are you alright?"

At the sound, Haibara opened her eyes, took the pill and the glass out of Conan's hand, placed the medicine into her mouth, and drank the water, choking in the middle. She was in a mess, as Conan observed. He took the glass out of her hand to prevent her from spilling the water and patted her back.

"Why don't you take a nap?"

The strawberry blond nodded, handed the jacket over to Conan, and lied down while Conan helped tuck the blanket around her. Her eyes shut tight with fatigue.

_What's wrong with her?_ The detective sighed, aware that the chemist was still in no condition to tell him what he wanted to know about the Organization and that he had to continue waiting. It was frustrating to sit around helplessly. He felt like the agitated earthquake scientists who could predict all about the large scaled quakes except for the time that they would strike.

So far, he wasn't deprived of the clues that could lead him to the Black Organization. He knew where Cathy Choi was, but what if it was a trick? What should he do then? Scratching his head out of annoyance, he spotted the phone not far from Haibara's bed. There was a way he could find out more about Cathy Choi. And better do it while Haibara was asleep.

"Saintemillion residence."

"Hi, Jodie-sensei. It's me, Conan," the detective greeted in a low voice to avoid waking the chemist and sat down on the sofa.

"Oh! Cool guy! How are you? And how is the little girl? I heard that she's ill."

"Oh, yes." Conan took a quick glance at the sleeping figure. "She's... she's fine now."

"Really? That's great! So, why are you calling?" Jodie smiled, expecting the little detective to bring up inquiries about the Black Organization, as the FBI had noted Kogoro's involvement in the case a few days ago. Although she appreciated the help that the little cool guy had provided in the past, she'd prefer that he left the job to the FBI.

Taking a deep breath, Conan shifted his position on the sofa to have his back facing Haibara and lowered his voice some more. "I was wondering... Do you have any information on Cathy Choi?"

"Ah, Catherine Choi." Jodie nodded and pulled out a folder from the drawer before sitting on her sofa. "I see that you suspect her as well. Yes, we have a file on her, and we are watching her. What do you want to know about her?"

"Everything would be nice."

"All right, I'll tell you what we know about her," Jodie said with hesitation. "But leave the investigation to us, okay?"

"Uh, sure."

"Catherine Choi, born in Hong Kong on January 23, 1984, grew up in Grenoble, France. Cantonese, but her father is half British. Blood type O positive, height 168 cm, weight 47 kg. Naturally black hair but dyed blond, light brown eyes. Violinist but not professional, and holds a doctorate degree in medicine. One of the best students graduated from University of Paris." Jodie lifted her head and looked out the window. "But oddly enough, she has no appreciation for art or science. People who knew her tell of her negative attitude and ignorance toward all forms of art. And when we inspected her apartment, her bookshelves were full of books on alchemy and astrology - pseudo-science - and, well, many books of the romance genre. What's striking is the line written on one of the papers stacked on her desk: _I am the Elixir for Long Life_. One can only wonder how she's using her brilliance in science."

_Interesting_, Conan thought. "What does her father do?"

"Her father owns a company that produces medicine. We believe that he is one of the financial supports for the Organization, though we doubt that he is conscious of how the money is being used. He is a well-respected businessman. Her mother," Jodie said before Conan could ask, "is a government-hired meteorologist."

"And her brother?"

"Hmm. We do not know much about him," said Jodie as she flipped through the papers spread out on the tea table in front of her. "Two years older than Catherine, he seemed to have been a rather stupid but friendly man. Some say he was in love with his sister, but we have yet to verify that information."

There was a pause between Conan and Jodie. And then Jodie spoke up again, after thinking for a moment, "We'd like you to consider a proposal of ours..."

After another twenty minutes of discussing the plan that the FBI had, Conan agreed to Jodie's proposal but decided that they should not involve Haibara in it. It was for her safety, he said, and Jodie agreed.

_This is a dangerous play, but if Fate is on our side..._ Jodie thought as Conan suggested some modifications to the plan.

" - hold on." Conan turned around, and his eyes met Haibara's eyes. "I-I'm sorry," Conan said to Jodie without taking his eyes off Haibara. "I have to go now."

While Jodie was puzzled by the sudden ending of the conversation, Conan hung up the phone and rose from the sofa. After returning the phone to its original position, he came to stand beside the bed with his hands in his pockets and stared at Haibara, whose face had more color than before and was written with concern.

"How long have you been listening?" Conan demanded, annoyed.

The coldness in Conan's voice made him sound like he was accusing her of being an immoral spy. Under normal circumstances, Conan might not have sounded as distant as he did at present, but the frustration he'd had with Haibara had been building up for a while.

Already tired, Haibara's face expression hardened with anger when she heard this unexpected and chilled accusation. What had she done when he woke her up in the first place? "I heard nothing," the strawberry blond responded with the same, if not harsher, coldness and turned her head away to glare at the window.

Having lost her ability to command many of her actions earlier on, Haibara couldn't mask her hurt feelings as well as she usually could. Her eyes and voice both betrayed her, and Conan realized that he'd gone too far. She was already under enormous stress for some odd reason, and from her expression before his questioning, it appeared that she was concerned and was about to tell him or ask him something.

No, this shouldn't have happened. After all, he had no reason to suspect her. Misunderstandings could hurt so much, and he had seen many tragic cases sprouting from such misunderstandings. He had no right to think in such a way. It wasn't fair for Haibara.

"H-how are you feeling now?" the detective asked like a child approaching a furious adult, hoping that he'd soothe Haibara's fury.

Everyone, everyone wanted to get rid of her, but there was no one to blame...

"Thank you for your concern. I'm fine," Haibara responded without removing her cynical tone. Unlike her usual sarcasm, which made fun of the target of mockery with warmth, this was a killer-to-prey exchange.

"I... I don't know how to say this..."

"Then shut up."

Heavens, so this was Miyano Shiho, this was Sherry. This was how she was like when she was in the Organization. What had he done?

Pressing his hands on the bed to support himself while he tiptoed and stretched himself to lean over enough to peer into Haibara's face. With a sheepish, apologetic grin, Conan asked, "Are you really mad at me? I didn't mean what I said earlier." _Liar!_ A voice inside his head screamed at him. "I... You know, being angry makes you age faster and is not good for your health. W-what I'm trying to say is..."

Haibara turned her head around and sent out one of the most frightening glares Conan had ever seen in his life. Jumping back to increase the distance between them so that the glare wouldn't kill him, Conan knew he had done something beyond the imagination of wrong.

"Go away. Whine to your girlfriend. I'm not your cat," Haibara warned and covered her head with the blanket.

Conan would've lost his patience if Haibara hadn't hid herself under the blanket like someone unwilling to get out of bed and trying to hide from the sun in the morning. She was still Haibara and not Sherry, still the girl who acted way stronger than she really was.

Under the blanket, Haibara controlled herself from shaking, from bursting into tears. The thought of "this is worthless to cry over" repeated in her head, but the choking, souring, and pricking feeling kept resurfacing.

Picking up the tip of the blanket, Conan tried to peek inside. "You're not crying, are you?"

No, she wasn't. Not yet. But she snatched the tip of the blanket away from Conan before he could get a better look.

"Uh, Haibara... I... I'm sorry. I really am. I just didn't want to... I was afraid that..." There was no suitable way for him to put a sentence containing the content of "I don't want to denounce you guilty some day" since it would truly hurt Haibara's feelings. So he chose to discard the reason that'd caused him to question her in a cold manner and decided to loosen the tension in a different direction. "If you really don't want me to pursue the Organization, I can give up. I-I don't want you to be upset. Don't hide under the blanket anymore, okay? Please?"

Receiving no response from the strawberry blond, Conan continued, "Maybe Ran was right. I think of deduction so much that I don't know... that I don't understand..." _...things sometimes are just the way they are. Please forgive me, Haibara, forgive my caprice and my lie this once... I really..._

Still receiving no response after a couple minutes of silence, Conan pouted. "Hey, are you coming out or not? 'Cause if you don't, I'll pull that blanket off you. And I mean it."

He reached for the blanket and grabbed it but stopped before he yanked it. It would just make Haibara even madder and more unforgiving. Sighing, he let go and headed for the door, chewing on the thought that perhaps it would've been a better idea if he'd listened to her "suggestion" earlier telling him to leave since she wasn't a helpless patient. Opening the door, Conan took another glance at the bulge on the bed and stepped outside, giving the impression that he'd left, even though he remained sitting on the steps outside the house, feeling blue.

Inside the house, after hearing the door click shut and remaining in stillness for a few minutes, Haibara lowered the blanket and peeked out. One victory that she managed to cheer was that she succeeded in holding back her tears. But now she was feeling bad that she made it so tough on the little detective.

Oh well, he deserved it.

-x-

It was almost dark when Doctor Agasa returned from sending the rest of the Detective Boys home and from grocery shopping. Carrying the groceries, he was surprised to see a dejected detective sitting on the doorsteps with his chin in his hand.

"What are you doing out here, Shinichi-kun?"

"Shh! Don't let Haibara know I'm out here," Conan placed his finger on his lips and whispered.

"What happened? You haven't, by any chance, done something unutterable to make her kick you out, have you? Or are you - "

"I said 'shush'! And no, she didn't kick me out. I came out myself, but I did make her mad... Oh, just go inside and don't let her know I'm out here!" Conan yelled in a whisper and beckoned the confused Doctor Agasa to enter the house without further questioning.

Doctor Agasa opened the door and looked toward the living room before turning back to Conan. "She's sleeping."

"Really? Like, not pretending?" Conan kneeled on the pavement in front of the door and peeped into the room while using Doctor Agasa to hide him.

Lying on her left side, Haibara had her right arm outside the blanket, which she no longer was hiding under. The detective knew that the strawberry blond couldn't fake sleep well anyway, and besides, it had been a long time since he exited the house.

"She's really asleep," Conan said as he stood up and tiptoed into the house - it was getting cold outside. "But hakase, pretend I'm not here. I'm invisible from now on until... oh, I don't know. Things should be alright, I think, when Haibara starts making fun of me again. Now go! Do whatever you're supposed to do."

"Uh, sure," Doctor Agasa responded and scratched his head before going into the kitchen. _What's up with Shinichi-kun?_

Watching Doctor Agasa leave the doorway, Conan wondered what he should do and where he should go. Maybe he should hide in the bathroom. Or in the lab. Or in Doctor Agasa's room. Or in a closet. Or... not at all.

The last time he saw Haibara's face was the death glare she gave him. It wasn't that long ago. It wasn't as if they'd been apart for decades. But he missed the gentle face she had, the adorable face she had. He never saw it often, but he didn't want it to disappear completely.

He strolled to the bedside and bent down to get a closer look of Haibara's face, wondering how it was possible for someone to possess so many layers of personality and to exhibit expressions with such drastic differences.

A murderer... No, she wasn't a murderer. She was just a little girl who, forced to grow up, forced to protect herself with coldness, liked to cry in the dark.

Extending his hand forward to touch the strawberry blond's cheek, Conan blushed and immediately withdrew his hand. Maybe he should make himself useful while he was here in Doctor Agasa's house, such as helping with the housework. Yes, the floor needed sweeping.

-x-

Haibara woke up from the sounds of someone walking toward her, stopping beside her, and placing something that smelled nice on the table beside her. Opening her eyes and noticing the brightness in the room, she discovered that it was morning and the person bending down to look at her was not Doctor Agasa but Edogawa Conan instead.

"What are you doing here?" Haibara stated, yet the tone wasn't as bitter - Conan hoped it wasn't because of her sleepiness that was making her slightly nicer than she was yesterday evening.

"I made breakfast for you," Conan said with a compromising smile, which dropped when Haibara turned to face the other side. "Are you still angry? What should I do to make you happy again?" Conan asked and shook Haibara gently on her shoulder, trying to make her turn around to face him. "Huh? What should I do? Come on, Haibara," - shake - "you can't ignore me forever..."

"Stop. Shaking. Me," Haibara said as she grabbed Conan's wrist, lifted his hands off her shoulder one after the other, dropped them away from her, and sat up on the bed.

"Are we not friends anymore?"

_"We never were,"_ Haibara wanted to say just to see an injured expression on the detective's face, but it was too cruel. So instead, she turned her attention to the bowl. "Really," Haibara muttered and lifted the lid covering the bowl full of... porridge. "It's not poisonous, I hope."

"Poisonous? No! It's not! I swear!" Conan beamed when Haibara picked up the bowl and spoon. "So does this mean you forgive me?"

Scooping up a bit of the porridge with the spoon, the strawberry blond raised her eyebrows for the lack of ideas and sighed. "Might as well do so, since that's the only way for me to cease your endless yapping and shaking. I want a life. Without you tailing me around and begging for forgiveness on your knees every other minute, mind you."

"Wait, then you're forgiving me only because I'm annoying?"

"You can put it that way. Why else would I ever forgive you? Because I love you so much that I can't bear to see you in torment of guilt? Ha, very funny," Haibara sneered and stuffed the spoon of food into her mouth.

"Does it taste good?" Conan leaned forward, never feeling so happy that Haibara returned to teasing him.

"No."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"You're the best!"

Haibara looked up from the bowl of porridge and stared at the detective grinning beside her. It was official - he lost his mind.

"Don't you have school?"

"Ah, yes." Conan's grin grew wider and, grabbing his jacket and backpack, he changed his shoes with incredible speed and fled out the door.

Odd.

-x-

(TBC)


	8. The Last Day

**CH 8 - The Last Day**

-x-

There was a smiley face following the words "Remember to take your medicine on time" on the sticky note that Haibara had peeled off the alarm clock sitting on the counter. It was a pathetic smiley face, to be exact, if regarded from Haibara's perspective.

_Accursed awakening device_, Haibara thought as she removed the batteries of the clock, crumpled the sticky note into a ball, and tossed it into the trash can.

She was showering when this... _thing_ started beeping. Since Doctor Agasa wasn't home - he left earlier, but whereto, Haibara didn't ask - she had to wrap herself in a towel to leave the bathroom to stop the crazy high frequency shrieks of the clock from shattering any glass. By the time she slammed her fist on the snooze button, the screeches from the small electronic device were hurting her eardrums.

After changing into dry clothes, Haibara returned to the kitchen to take her medicine. It was when she was capping the medicine bottle after swallowing the tablet when she remembered about the bottle of "Galatea" lying somewhere in the lab. She didn't believe the pills in the bottle were Galatea, but having nothing else better to do except sitting on the bed and counting the number of red cars driving by per hour, she might as well conduct official chemical tests on the pills.

The lab was in a mess. Papers and all kinds of objects lay all over the place. The desk drawers were pulled out to various degrees and about half the contents that the drawers used to contain were scattered throughout the room - pens, rulers, plastic containers, computer disks, and papers.

The chemist cringed at the sight, but before she could pick up anything, she caught sight of the white bottle lying on the desk among mixed stacks of paper. Her mind would be on the bottle all the time if she did house cleaning first, so instead of sorting out everything on the floor, she swept them into a large pile beside the desk and reached for the bottle. She opened the bottle, shook out a couple pills, and broke each of them in half to inspect the insides of them. The insides were white, like Tylenol cold pills. Shaking her head as she broke more pieces of the medicine, she knew that these were not Galatea. Dyeing powder colors was possible, but by instinct, the chemist knew that the drug she was holding in her hands was not her creation.

_"Who're you kidding? There's no way I can understand a murderer! Do you know how many people you've killed with that drug of yours?"_

Galatea was solely her creation, her own creation. It was an unintentional mistake, a miscalculation, but nonetheless, it was deadly. If the detective could've gotten so mad over a drug that she had to continue developing after her parents' death, it was no surprise he would lose his patience and temper while fearing the destruction Galatea would bring.

Dropping the uncapped bottle onto the desk and ignoring it and its contents rolling around and falling onto the floor, Haibara bowed her head and rested her hands on the edge of the desk.

_I see_, Haibara thought, _But I don't understand. Why would there be such changes?_

"_I promised her that if anything happens, I'll protect her, that there is nothing to worry about. That girl's far from being as strong as she seems to be_,"Conan had told Doctor Agasa.

Friendship. Friendship is a burning fantasy. There can be no love among people. The loves forced from blood relationships are wonderful and powerful, and yet, such loves will ultimately be torn apart. The bonds among people cannot withstand anything and cannot do anything except create sadness in the world that lasts through centuries.

The purpose for human beings to approach one another is entirely selfish, no matter what kind of selfishness - physical, psychological, emotional - and no matter whether it is cute, abominable, harmless, detrimental, naive, frightening...

There are people so harsh and cold, and there are people so foolish. Then there are people so... good.

However, the good will all pass away. The good cannot win and can never win the bad. The victory has been set by the definition of the good and the bad. And the world is steering farther and farther away from the equilibrium born with the universe. One day, everything, everywhere will be dark. Things of the light are slowly drowning away.

"_She smiled as she told me, 'About a week later, I will come and visit you again. This time, I'll bring my sister, too._'" Imai Tetsuo, whose tools Akemi loved to hide, had said as he recalled Akemi. "_But she never came. I'd thought that her cheerful face would erase the murderous thought once more, but..._"

Haibara held up her trembling hands to examine them while tears blurred her vision. These same hands, these same hands that created Apotoxin-4896 and Galatea took away the life of her beloved sister. If it wasn't because of that drug, if it wasn't because of the ability for these hands to continue the research, her sister would've been able to get her out of the Organization and bring her, too, to visit the friends of her father... "about a week later." But the Organization needed the research, which needed her. Akemi's refusal to hand over the one billion yen she'd robbed to free Haibara forced Gin to kill her.

And she'd blamed _him_ for not being able to save her sister.

Haibara fell to her knees and cried, leaning her head against the side of the desk. She didn't try to stop the tears from falling. There was no one by her side anyway, and there probably never will be one. The tears were not burdening ones, but those that relieved pains.

Was it possible that loneliness could make the room feel cold?

-x-

"I'm baaack," Conan announced as he pushed open the door at the Detective Agency but stopped short when he saw Sonoko and Ran conversing, or is it arguing? in the living room.

"No, this is too fancy," Ran said, embarrassed, as she pushed away the dress that Sonoko was holding up. "It's only a dinner with friends."

"But it's not an _ordinary_ dinner!" Sonoko protested and picked up another dress, trying to make Ran wear it. "I already told you _he'll_ be there. Think, Ran, think. Compare him to that stupid deduction freak Shinichi. Okay, how about this dress? Come on, Ran! It's like comparing diamond to graphite! Pick the diamond!"

"Sonoko... No! This dress reveals too much!"

"Of course, if Shinichi doesn't run off to some random case so often and abandons his wife every time—"

"Stop calling me his wife! Who wants to be that jerk's wife?"

"Aha! I never said _you_ were his wife. See? You do like him and already dream of marrying him. Oh, it's so romantic... Don't worry, I'll make sure - "

"No! He... Just shut it, Sonoko!" Ran exclaimed in desperation and caught sight of Conan regarding Sonoko with annoyance. "Conan-kun? Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't hear you coming in."

Sonoko continued, "Well, in any case, Ran, you have to - "

"Ran-neechan, are you going somewhere tonight?" Conan asked after Ran turned her attention to him.

"Yeah. Sonoko invited a lot of people to dinner, but I thought you were staying over at hakase's house, so I didn't prepare dinner. Otousan himself can get dinner downstairs... Oh, I know! Hey, otousan, can you bring Conan-kun along with you when you dine at the café downstairs?"

"What! No!" Kogoro, looking up from the newspaper, and Conan shouted together.

Surprised by the reactions of the two detectives and out of ideas, Ran turned to Sonoko, who was still speaking of the dinner, the dresses, and the jerk, for help.

" - are you listening? No! Ran, no way!" Sonoko shouted. "It's always this kid! We're not taking him with us! He spoils everything!"

"But - "

"It's okay, Ran-neechan, I'll just go to hakase's house."

"But - "

"I think that's a _great_ idea," Kogoro said in a loud voice and opened another can of beer.

"But - otousan! Sonoko! Can't we - w-wait, Conan-kun! Come back!"

"Have a nice evening, all!" Conan waved with a cheerful smile as Sonoko dragged Ran away to try on more dresses.

Once he was outside the room with the door shut, he let out a sigh and turned to descend the stairs. Wondering about the "he" Sonoko had spoken of and digging his hands into his pockets, he felt a small, smooth object. Oh yeah! He had the antidote! Stopping on the stairs, he pulled the capsule out of his pocket while a wide grin appeared on his face. Before he popped the capsule into his mouth, however, he realized that several things could go wrong if he took the antidote now.

Haibara would mock and look down on him for the rest of his life, especially if she learned of the circumstance causing him to take the antidote so quickly or if anything went wrong after he took the antidote. Or worse: the combo of the two. And he didn't even want to think about what would go wrong. Jodie was counting on _Conan_ as well to carry out the plan. The Black Organization might realize that one of their victims came back to life and that would put everyone in danger...

Darn. He still had to wait while Sonoko continued on with her nonsense. But when everything is over, he'd make sure Sonoko paid in one way or another. He wouldn't let "him" off the hook that easily either... as soon as he could find out who "he" was.

Not particularly happy but helpless on almost everything, Conan walked toward Doctor Agasa's house while kicking pebbles along the way.

"Hakase," Conan called out in a gloomy voice as he stepped into Doctor Agasa's house. "I'm staying here for tonight." After taking off his shoes and receiving no response, he repeated, "Hakase?"

Looking around as he walked into the living room, he noticed that Haibara's bed was neatly made and that the living room was empty.

"Hello? Hakase? Haibara?" Conan descended the stairs leading to the basement, and to his surprise, the lab, like the living room, was clean and tidy. The last time he was here, papers and random items were lying all over the place. _I guess someone was in a good mood today_. _But where are - _His thoughts broke off when he came across a pile of paper spread out slightly around a folder. It was a stack of paper with results of the physical and chemical tests of several numbered items compared to the properties of Galatea. All results were negative.

"If you're going to stay here tonight," a voice came from behind, causing him to throw the papers he was holding onto the desk and to spin around to the direction where the voice was coming from, "just know I'm not cooking for you."

"Oh, Haibara," Conan exclaimed, facing the never-cheerful strawberry blonde chemist leaning by the doorpost with her arms folded. "Where's hakase?"

"Not home. He's been out for the whole day."

"Where did he go?"

Haibara shrugged, aware of the detective's interest in the papers on the desk. "They're not it," she said when Conan glanced at the pile of paper again.

"R-right. Figured. The police didn't find anything either," Conan murmured with pauses in between sentences and looked up startled as Haibara left the doorpost abruptly. "Are you okay?" he asked after he caught up with Haibara on the stairs.

"Tired," Haibara replied and headed for the dining table.

"What are you eating?" Conan asked with enthusiasm and peered over Haibara's shoulders after she sat down and picked up the chopsticks. "Ramen! You're eating _ramen_!" he cried out in horror but understood why he hadn't heard or smelled anything cooking earlier in the kitchen, where he assumed Haibara was when he entered the house.

"I'm not ordering pizza, and no one is forcing you to eat ramen," Haibara said in a tired and bored voice and stuffed a few noodle strands into her mouth.

"You're not eating ramen," Conan said, snatched the bowl of instant noodle away, spilling some soup in the process but missing the sight of a confounded Haibara gaping at him, and headed for the kitchen. "I'm cooking something healthier for you."

A softened expression replaced the irritated one on her face. After wiping dry the table with the spilled soup, Haibara sat on her chair and waited for her dinner, smirking once when she heard Conan crying out, "Hey, look what I found!"

If only everything was a dream... then it would last forever.

Soon, the smell from the kitchen permeated throughout the room. It was so nice that Haibara couldn't wait to see what Conan had cooked. It was taking him a long time, so it'd better be good.

When he finally emerged from the kitchen, he was carrying a large pot and other utensils. As he set everything before Haibara, he said, "I couldn't find a clay pot to decoct it, and I didn't have as much time, so it's not as good as it should've been. But it's edible, and better than ramen."

Haibara's eyes widened as she leaned forward on her seat to peek into the pot, which contained soup that looked dirty. "Black chicken soup..." Haibara exclaimed in awe and looked at Conan. "Where did you find the chicken?"

"It was in the freezer," Conan said, grinning and looking very accomplished. "Yeah, I know. I was surprised too. Try some."

Conan scooped up a bowl full of soup and chicken and handed the bowl to Haibara, who was beaming at the food she got to eat. The soup made from black chicken is richer - in taste and in nutrients - than that made from normal chicken. Although a chicken with black skin looked abnormal and the soup along with it looked contaminated, it was a high-quality dish.

"How is it?" Conan asked with eagerness to gain feedback after Haibara took a bite.

"It's edible, and better than ramen."

Sighing, Conan slipped into the seat opposite to Haibara and helped himself to a bowl of soup. "Come on, it has to be better than what I said."

Haibara didn't respond but kept her eyes on her food. She didn't want to admit it, but it was delicious. Midway through the meal, she stopped eating and started poking the chicken meat in her bowl with her chopsticks. Her mind had wandered off to somewhere else. Still keeping her eyes on her food, Haibara asked in a low voice, "Must you go?"

"Go where?" Conan looked up from his second filling that he was almost finishing. He was enjoying his own cooking.

"Must you execute the FBI's plan?" When she received no response, Haibara continued, "I know I can't stop you from going, but you won't come back alive. The Organization is just too powerful. By that time, she'll be hurt, and... there'll be no one to cook me this."

"Then you like it!" Conan gasped as the happiest smile in the world appeared on his face, though he was half expecting Haibara to reply, "No, I was just kidding - your cooking stinks." Or something like that, but Haibara didn't say anything. "Don't worry, I'll be fine," Conan said, unable to stop smiling. "When I come back, I'll make you this soup every two weeks. How is that?"

"Sure..." Haibara whispered, knowing that it was impossible. If he did come back alive, he'd be excited about returning to his normal life as a high-school detective with _her_. He shouldn't even know Haibara. The strawberry blonde looked up at Conan, who was helping himself to the third filling, but the look turned into a stare.

"What?" Conan blushed when his eyes met Haibara's eyes.

"You've got chicken and oil all over your face."

Oh... so _now_ she was staring at him because there was something, well, a lot of things, on his face. Conan's face reddened as he grabbed a paper towel to wipe his face. Indeed, he was looking like a toddler who had baby food all smudged around the mouth.

"I'm sorry," Conan said with a sheepish grin. "I guess I'm too used to eating with a seven-year-old's manner."

Haibara shook her head and resumed poking her chicken. Conan watched with curiosity as she picked up the piece of meat to eat but dropped it back into the bowl several times until she gave up completely, placed the chopsticks on the table, and sat up straight.

"I have to go," Haibara said and looked at Conan.

"Wha - "

"You don't want me to go, I understand. However, nothing will be solved if I continue running away, if I continue hiding. I appreciate your concerns for my safety, but I can't rely on you forever, do you understand? The Organization wants me. Nothing will be accomplished if only you go. You will die. That is a huge but unnecessary damage."

"You still don't have confidence in me?" Conan put down his chopsticks and leaned back in his seat, looking at Haibara.

With a bitter smile, Haibara answered, "Have confidence in you. Believe in you. Have faith in you... all these will not save anyone or anything. They are nonexistent philosophical concepts. You're up against a dangerous opponent."

"Hence, it's too dangerous for you to go."

"Is it not dangerous then, for you?"

"Please, Haibara - "

"What if their plan was to direct your attention to something insignificant while their focus is somewhere else? What would you do then?"

The detective felt a sinking feeling of dread in his heart. "What do you mean?"

Haibara lowered her head. "I'm afraid, Kudo-kun. I don't want to see the replay of the tragedy that had happened in 79 A.D. in Pompeii. A tragedy that is changeable but irreversible."

_Pompeii, 79 A.D..._ Conan fell silent as he recalled the story of one of the most famous ghost towns in the world.

Pompeii, a Roman city sitting at the bay of Naples, was destroyed by an epic eruption of Vesuvius and was frozen in time. Vesuvius, the peak of hell rising out of paradise. Because the volcano had been dormant for 1500 years, the people of Pompeii had no knowledge about volcanoes. And because no one knew the dangers, many who could've fled, stayed, completely oblivious that the decisions they made would ultimately seal their fate.

The people of Pompeii died in a painful way, compared to the instant deaths of the people of Herculaneum, a city beside Pompeii. For the people at Pompeii, the first breath in the midst of the pyroclastic flow filled their lungs with fluid, like swallowing fire. The second breath created wet cement in their lungs, while the third breath thickened the cement, causing the victims to suffocate in the tremendous heat within the flow itself.

The volcanic ash later blanketed the city, sealing it away from the world until 1594. The cover of ash acted like a time capsule, preserving the city... and the "bodies." The bodies decayed; it was the casts made by the ash that had preserved their shapes. The casts were the eerie replicas immortalizing the final moments of the citizens of Pompeii...

"Haibara..."

"It was only until today that people believed the records made of the disaster 2000 years ago by Pliny the Younger," Haibara's voice trailed off as she lifted her head and looked into Conan's eyes. "What I'd meant to tell you is... about the boss. But... will you think that I'm mad, like Pliny the Younger? After all, I..."

Conan smiled. "Fool, who am I? Don't worry. How bad can it be?"

The strawberry blonde muttered the identity of the boss and quickly stood up without looking at Conan's reaction. "I'm going to bed," Haibara uttered as she left the table. She didn't want him to see her face, which he probably wouldn't be able to anyway due to the shock, nor did she want to see his.

She only heard him repeatedly mutter, "No, that's not possible..."

-x-

Haibara was dreaming about eating apples in tornadoes when someone shook her awake when it was still dark. Focusing her barely opened eyes on the person, she mumbled as she sat up on the bed, "Hakase, you're back."

"What's wrong with Shinichi-kun?" Doctor Agasa asked in a whisper and handed a cup of water to Haibara, who examined the cup of water in the dark as if she was extremely near-sighted. "For medicine," Doctor Agasa explained and handed the medicine to Haibara. "He's just sitting there in the dark with his head in his hands and when I tried to talk to him, he shakes his head and beckons me to leave him alone."

"He'll be fine," Haibara answered after gulping down the cup of water and shifted off the bed to return the cup to the kitchen.

"Here, give me the cup." Doctor Agasa extended his hand.

"No. I'll go."

On the way to the kitchen, Haibara glanced at the clock, which read ten o'clock. He'd been sitting there for more than two hours. After washing the cup and placing it back into the cupboard, Haibara glimpsed at Conan, who was in the position as what Doctor Agasa had described. She paused but turned to return to bed, wondering if she'd done the right thing to have revealed the identity of the boss to him.

People of Pompeii didn't know about the danger of Vesuvius but instead thought of it as the giver of life. The giver of life also brought death, but the people of Pompeii had more than twelve hours to escape from the city before the deadly pyroclastic flow contributed to the final devastation. Haibara knew it was too late to move Conan out of the red-zone, so she decided to inform him of the danger of... Vesuvius. People at Pompeii realized their fate in the end, but what could they have done? Eventually, both of them might have to ask the same question that the people of Pompeii would've asked - where will you go when nowhere is safe?

Conan looked up at where Haibara had stood after she left and shook his head. _This is not fair, not fair to that person, not fair at all..._

"Haibara," he called out, but knowing she was too far and his voice too low for her to hear.

-x-

(TBC)


End file.
